Five again...

Today I was at work doing a leaf job, we had went by a Bi-Lo earlier in the morning before heading to work. This girl I work with has.... problems(to put it lightly). Anyways, after we left Bi-Lo we went straight to work. It wasn't fifteen minutes of us being there that she went up to Dad and said "Hey, um... I gotta use the bathroom."

Dad stared blankly at her for a total of three seconds before he realized that she wasn't joking. "You what?" He said in monotone. He knew what she had said but obviously he had hoped he had misheard her. She simply looked at him innocently. "Why didn't you go to the bathroom at Bi-Lo's?!" He exploded.

"I didn't have to go then!!!" She said in a whiney five-year-old voice.

"Gosh your a pain!" He said obviously not enjoying the idea that he would have to take her somewhere that she could use the bathroom. "This might be your last time working with me." He quite matter of factly(it had not been the first time she had done this to him.).

----

I don't care if it did anger Dad, I thought it was all hilarious.

^_^

Still invisible.....

It amazes me how he can hear someone from half-way across the room, but he can't hear me when I'm standing right next to him...

To wear or not to wear...?

This subject has been eating at me recently.

My dear friend whom I love so much posted a blog recently about pants and skirts. Alot of people replied with their own opinions on the subject. Someone said something along the lines of, "This just means that the closer you get to God the more convictions you have...", don't get me wrong, I'm not disagreeing. I don't say this just because I wear pants but, just because you wear a skirt doesn't mean that you are closer to God then the people who wear pants. I'm not against skirts, I mean, I wear them too, but just because I wear pants also doesn't make me a lesser being then women that choose to wear skirts constantly. If pants is your conviction then so be it, it's not mine and that's that. Hope no one hates me for it but I am perfectly okay with myself wearing pants, I don't think it's wrong of me, I said all of this to say that everyone has their own convictions, wearing pants just isn't one of mine...

Much love,
Sharri

six things I hate....

This is just some of my most recent pet peeves I suppose. Well.... not recent, but I only recently started thinking about what actually does get on my nerves.





A sarcastic comment mistook for "grumpiness"- The other night I was at someone's house and when someone walked through the door he shouted "HELLO SHARRI!" I replied "Hello loudness..." Then he called me grumpy... that was not me being grumpy, I was simply being sarcastic(nothing strange there, seriously Josh.)





Snobs-I was sitting next to Josh in church one Sunday morning and some stranger was on the other side of me, apparently she used to go to the church and most of the people knew her from Chimes, anyways, Pastor Wynn said(as usuall), "Shake someone's hand and thank them for being here today." I, of course, shook Josh's hand and then went to shake the stranger's hand. She flat out ignored me, yep, didn't even glance my way! Maybe it was wrong of me but it didn't matter at the time, I looked back at brother Wynn as he began to sing and muttered "snob" just loud enough towhere she could hear.





Whiney Soldiers- Yesterday I was sitting in the car headed home from work with Dad listening to, the most despised, NPR(National Public Radio) News. They were doing a live interveiw with a soldier, and he was whining on behalf of the army. His exact words were "You could ask any soldier here each one would take the first plane home." I'm sure that it's true but that's exactly what upsets me. We treat them like heroes, they are heroes I mean, they risk their lives to fight for their country every day, and that's just it! They are the one's who decided to join the army in the first place, and now they are going to whine that it's dangerous?! Well duh! Of course it's dangerous! What did they think was going to happen? Did they think that once they joined the army they would kick up there feet and drink coffee and eat biscottis?! Gosh.... I need to get off this subject.

Fly away by John Denver- Whiniest song in the world... I just hate it basically.

Zoning out when with friends- John always thinks I upset, angry or depressed, when he asks me what's wrong and I reply "nothing" he doesn't believe me?! Why does he not believe me?... Oh well.

Overly happy dogs- Better leave that one alone...

I'll stop at that, before I get all piped up about these subjects(all of the above.).

A Random Act of Kindness.(Christmas Shoes)

Our family lives in Cleveland and goes to church in Athens. Our mother works up at the church two days of the week and we have church two days of the week so to drive up to the church four days of the week could be expensive, therefore, we spend the night every Sunday and Tuesday night after church and me and my sis Michele are bored all day the next day. Wednesday the pastors son decided to shoot the bow and arrows with us but it was cut short because his brother called and asked him to pick him up. Well, his son invited Michele and I to go with him and so we did. Michele didn't think that she would need her shoes so she left them at the church.

We went to the Athens Hospital where we were supposed to pick up Micah but it turns out that they were not there. They decided to drop Micah and Haven off at Walmart instead. So, John, Michele and I headed to walmart to pick them up there. When we got there John(of course) decided to go inside... Well, Michele had no shoes... I asked John if he had a pair of shoes for her to wear in his car so he popped the trunk and started digging for shoes, he was successful in finding three pairs of shoes, they all required socks, something Michele didn't have. So I gave her my shoes and was going to wear John's since I did have socks. As I was fighting to put on boots that went past my ankles I saw a pair of tennishoes drop on the floor in front of my face at my feet. My brow wrinkled, it hadn't been an accident, "Are you serious?!" I asked uncertain if they were for me. "Yes, I am serious, you may keep them." Said a kind voice from above and slightly behind me. "Your for real?" I asked just to double check. "Yes I am, keep them." She said once more. I hastened to put the shoes on.(I'm not one for getting my socks dirty, it upsets me.) By the time I had finished she had already left to her car. I turned to John who was equally shocked.

"That was mighty kind of her wasn't it?" Said John. "Yes it was... I wish she hadn't walked away so quickly I would have gave her a hug and thanked her propperly..." I said slightly dissapointed that she had left so quickly. "Well," said John "She's in the car over there if you still want to." My face instantly brightened. I turned to the car before running over to it and knocking on the door. When she opened the door she simply smiled. "Thank you so much for the shoes, they fit perfectly and everything!" I said as I gave her a hug. "It's no problem at all, your welcome." She said still smiling as Michele gave her a hug also(btw, she gave us both a pair of shoes kool right?). As she got in her car she didn't look back "Enjoy walmart" She called and then closed the door once more. John went on about how kind it was of her and I simply nodded my head in agreement.

For weeks now I have been talking about how badly I needed a new pair of tennishoes and now I have them. It was great.

When time slowly slips away and yet it seems a blur...

I spent the night with the Libbeys last night and stayed up till one in the morning(against my will... glory...) and then woke up earlier then I had origionally intended(then again if I didn't wake up when I did I never would have woke up hehehe!). I talked with Esther and then Josh came into the room and started hitting me in the head with a pillow repeatedly saying that it was his job since I don't have any older brothers to pick on me when personally I have more "big brothers" then I want.(or at least they think they are my "big brothers" lol). Then I talked to Esther and Josh a bit then made eggs for me and michele. So that was just the morning. Then Seth and Leah woke up(finally) and we started playing boggle, we actually played this for awhile till like 1:30 and then we stopped in which time I sat on the couch and drew pictures then showed them to Seth who questioned every detail.(it's a picture my goodness just a picture) Well we ended up playing boggle again very shortly after our "quick" break. We played till 3:43 in which time I decided to look at my phone and thought 'oh my gosh! We're going to be late!' Ha yeah right.... When we got to the park no one was there. It seemed like it took forever for Esther, Leah, and Michele to get there and forever more for Hannah, Jessie, and Danika(one of the most awesome girls I know) to show up. We had originally planned to play volleyball while the guys played football but since none of the guys showed up we played soccer. While playing soccer Michele managed to kick my legs out from underneath me and made me fall flat on my butt and it still feels bruised :/...

By the time we finally got home I was sore all over. Normally I go on a bike ride daily but I was soooooo sore! I looked at the dog who was waiting expectantly by his gait waiting to be let out so he could go to the creek with me(btw, when I say bike ride I mean like tough trail rides haha!). I sighed to myself 'what the heck,' I thought 'why not? The poor boy has been confined to his pin all day long so I might as well suffer through a little so he can have some time out of his pin...' I think he knew how tired I was feeling cause come time to put him up he didn't wish to get back in his pin :(. I fought with him for an hour before getting him in there and after an hour long bike ride I'm surprised it didn't take longer. Needless to say I'm tired as all get out. I wonder if I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow... hm.. Guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out hehehe!

Layout

Okay so I change my blogger like alot lol. The other was to cute and sweet for me(not to say I'm not a cute and sweet person ;) lol) this however is just right(I think) it's black and white and cute and not overly cheery.(which after rereading my blog I have come to realise it was in great contrast to the rest of my blog lol.) So tell me what you think.... please?

Tear drops on my pillow...

They don't care, they don't want to listen to me whine all the time and why should they? I don't need my so called 'friends' anyways. I didn't need them before I had them why should I need them now? Because I'm hurting... and I don't know why. But what difference does it make do they know? Do they have the answer as to why I'm in pain when I myself don't? Of course not... So why bother with them? I don't need them anymore I'm done with them, I'm done talking to them when they don't want to listen, I'm done watching them pretend they care when we all know that they don't. I wonder why they even bother acting like they like me when I know they don't as well as they do.-


dull thinking much? Yeah I know. These thoughts have been running through my head day in and day out for what seems like forever. I had finally opened up to my friend and I felt like crap it only did good to bring me lower. Recently... I don't know it's been pretty much terrible. I have a friend who's been treating me, not exactly badly but not half as well as this friend used to. We have grown distant and I don't like the feeling that I'm losing this friend because this friend is a very good friend... Or was one. I'm not certain of anything anymore I feel like I'm losing it. Last night I had a dream that I was falling... That was it, falling into the darkness I never hit the bottom and I almost wish I had. It was agonising there was nothing around to catch me I was simply being swallowed by loads of darkness it was almost terrifying. Somehow I felt like through this dream was a pitiful reality that this is what is happening to me now. I am falling and no one is there to catch me. These thought's clouded my mind one day and then a sting of pain hit me and I immediately drew away from these thoughts. Of course there is someone out there who care's and I know he loves me! Why else would he have died on the cross to save me and then spend his time to keep me safe every moment of every day?

Needless to say I was ashamed of myself for thinking such things, how dare I forget the one that gave all he had to give to set me free? Here I was complaining to myself about how bad my life was, how no one cared... Stupid. If anyone had any complaining it was/is him. He died for everyone because he loved him and they wanted nothing but his death, so he died and gave all of mankind a chance to be with him in heaven and we took it for granted. That is reason to think no one loves you or cares for you. How stupid it is that day after day we think about how misserable we are(which I have found only does to make you worse.) when he was the one that had all there was to give and gave every bit he had for us a very ungrateful and unworthy people. That is love. He love's me and I love him and I'm proud of it. He shouldn't have done what he did on the cross but he did it anyways. He knew we were undeserving and he knew that we didn't deserve a chance at everlasting life but it didn't stop him. His love for us was so great that he knew the future and how bad we would get(we being humans in general.) and yet it didn't stop him. I am so glad that it didn't stop him... That might sound wrong but it wasn't supposed to, what I mean to say is, I am grateful for what he did on the cross even though I didn't deserve it I am glad that, even though he knew that alls we would ever do is persecute him he died for us. I'm sorry that his blood was shed, I'm sorry that he suffered pain, but I'm so grateful to him for doing so.

I don't want to complain an overly large amount, even saying that I know I will complain again in the future, but I just want to remember what he went through and that I have no reason(well... some reason but nothing compared to his reason lol.) to complain. I want to always remember that God loves me and that I should love him also.(and I do.)

-Sharri.

Wishlist

My Wishlist



My birthday is coming up shortly(ish) so I decided to make a wishlist for anyone who might want any gift ideas.



-Happiness-

I know you can't go out and buy happiness gift wrap it and hand it over, but I'm certain you guys can help make me happier(somehow) I can't say it is the cheapest gift and on your account perhaps one of the most expensive. You may not need to use money but it takes time, and acknowledgement, sometimes the patience to listen to me ramble, or simply a hug every now and then.



-Love-

I didn't think this gift would be to hard since we are all christians here but, sometimes I need to know I'm loved. When I think about it I know I'm loved, but imagine how great it would be to know your loved without having to break it down to "I must be loved because of such and such" I would rather be able to think "I know I'm loved because they love me"



-Patience-

This is asking a great deal. I am one of those people that, without patience, are hard to be around or tollerate so to ask this of you is asking alot. This is another "expensive" gift lol. Patience would probably be beneficial to more then one person however. You see when you are patient towards me it gives me the chance to get to know you as well as you me and through that I might acquire a better relationship with you as my friend so tada!

To know I'm special(or feel it)

I guess the only way I can "know" I'm special is to believe it with all my heart even if someone told me I was special I wouldn't be able to feel it unless I believe'd it, but you can help me believe it if you make me feel it enough. I'm not saying, "Follow me around and tell me how great I am" or(to a guy) "Act like your in love with me cause if you do I will feel special through the thought that someone is in love with me" I'm just saying that well. Through friendship you could make me feel special just by being there for me or caring for me or even just hanging out with me and being well, a friend.

A notebook

I can't say that there is some deep meaning to this I just want a notebook lol. Not one that's like a regular writing pad but a notebook smallish and cute hehehe!

A few good pens
I'm almost certain that Jessie can relate to this since she writes alot, but you know those pens with crappy ink or the ones that seem to dry up to quickly? I would like a few pens that aren't like that, I don't like gel pens but something where the ink will come out and not be overly blotchy I just hate that it really hinders(?) my writing.

To be included

Sad as the case is I don't always feel included even around my friends. I just want someone to at least try to include me or, though I would prefer them to not fake it, pretend to care. Sometimes this is just how I feel, upseting though it may be. If you have read my earlier blog then you should know that I feel like the outcast at times(and for good reason might I add?) and the feeling hurts believe it or not, I don't like this feeling at all, I hate it actually and I want more then anything to get away from it. I would like help on this matter I would like to feel included, this probably won't happen but it's still something I "wish" for.

A trust worthy friend.

Trust... It doesn't come easy for me because the moment I trust someone I become closer to them and it pains me that much more when they are torn away from me by fate, however, a friend you can trust is always something that's good to have. I want a friend that I can talk to anything about and them not automatically tell me how stupid I am for my thoughts(I have enough people tell me that, including myself) before trying to see it through my point of veiw it hurts to be prosecuted before a just trial(this makes sense right?).

Last and most important "Candy!"

So I would definitely say this is the most important thing on my wishlist I love candy so much, I'm considered a "sugarholic" by some people but what can I do? Please don't everyone get me candy cause I'll get overly happy and scarf it down till I'm sick so yeah that's not good :P!

Random much?...

This is a very random blog some things I will say on this were meant for certain people and some things are just things I felt the need(or wish) to share or simply things I've realized recently.

Thoughts:

Friendship...

Sunday night the youth went to McDonald's after night service. I ended up riding with John-mark, Haven, and Michele. Me and John started our own conversation(since we were in the front seats and had no clue what Haven and Michele were talking about) John looked over to me(we were talking about our friend) and said "You know she isn't going to be able to come around as much as she normally does so we need to be really nice to her okay?" I nodded my head and told him that I was always nice to her because she is my friend and I love her. "She's the first one who talked to me at this church and introduced herself to me with Rachel. She was also the first to get me a gift for my birthday... Actually, she was the only one to, including the members of my family. She is so sweet!" I told him. "I didn't know all of that." He told me.

Even as we talked about it I realized just how much our friendship meant to me, and not only the friendship but how much all of my friends mean to me. I was so used to the people at our old church, I had been around them for over ten years, and then all of a sudden they were gone and I had no one. We changed the church we went to and everything was completely alien to me(the fact that there was a certain person who liked to stay quite and stare at people didn't help). The fact that just one person had came up to me and said hello(awkward as it was) made me happy that these people weren't so strange and that I didn't have to be scared about making friends.

I had never before been in a youth group so large but because one person worked up the courage to say something to me I had confidence to say something back. The very next week someone else invited us to go on a camping trip with them. So yeah friends are pretty dang important to me. So despite whatever I have said(or might say) I want you all to know that I love you very much. There might be some other stuff on this same blog later on that might make you think otherwise but remember I love you and I'm just weird ;)

Outcast...

This might be one of those parts that I told you about that might make you have second thoughts as to whether I love you guys or not, remember despite what I say I love you all these are just thoughts that have come to me recently.

I have been called by many names since the day I was born. Sharry- just about everyone I know calls me this, Pocahontas- I'm called this very randomly and normally only when wearing braids(it's not my fault I am part native American it is my ancestors), Scary Sharry-normally only Michele when she is in a bad or playful mood but I was actually called this by Josh just Sunday so it is coming back to me now, Elizabeth- My mom and grandma like to call me by one of my middle names sometimes, but to me I am sometimes titled as 2nd favorite(in comparison to my sister) or the outcast. I'm not always thinking of myself as these things so don't get worried that I'm majorly hating myself :P In fact it has become quite common and nowadays it honestly doesn't bother me much. Still, when I remember all the times I have been left out or shunned I can't honestly say it doesn't hurt.

Recently(in fact it was this month) we had been informed that the entire youth group had went to a restaurant in Cleveland where we live. You have to understand that we live in Cleveland and every single one of our friends live in, where else, Athens, we have to drive forty-five minutes to an hour just to hang out with them and the rare times they come to Cleveland they don't even invite us. That's right they all get together come where we live and don't bother letting us know... XP! Sure I can understand, they've known each other for years so they want to hang out together cause they are all good friends, and me and my sis are, well... just friends. But that is because they hardly give us the chance to become "good friends" see where I'm coming from? That is why it gets on my nerves. It would be a different story if we were the outcast because they knew us and didn't like us(it would still be upsetting but a different story nonetheless), but they don't even know us, nor have they tried to get to know us and they shun us anyways. *sighs* Honestly I can't even get in on a conversation around them... But that to is another story and it will have to wait until later. Again, I love you all but I do wish you would include us more and get to know us before deciding to push us away, okay? I'm sure you can understand(I think?)...

Ignored...

This is that other story. You know how I can't get in on a conversation with them? Trust me it's not because I haven't tried. I have, I don't think I've ever tried so hard to get in on a conversation with them either and it's not because we don't have anything in common. There are only a handful of them that I have been able to talk to and that is only when it's a few people at a time. One time it was just me and one other person. I said hi, and he said hello and then we had a conversation and then while we were talking he turns around and walks off.... HOW STUPID! It was the most insulting thing on earth, I don't think I've ever looked at him the same way since. It got on my nerves and under my skin and still does and what's hilarious is that he calls himself my big brother... No... My big brother would listen to me when I spoke(believe it or not... probably not since no one does) I know because I have had a "big brother" at one time and he actually was one. Whatever, now I'm all caught up on the fact that he calls me his little sister... blah. Point is, how are we supposed to become friends if we don't talk? I can't think of one time in the past year that I have had a conversation that actually lasted with more then one person. In a whole year! I don't think anyone of my "friends" knows more about me then maybe, maybe, my favorite color!... Well... If I don't get off this subject I will have people hating me and thinking I hate them.. I don't want that...

Big Brother...

Okay so yeah, I bet a lot of you are wondering who this "big brother" I spoke of earlier is/was. So I will just start from the beginning.

I started working with my dad a two or three years ago. One summer he got an employee named David... That's right David I've talked about him more then once, if you were listening(yes that was a joke a little bit of humor). I became "attatched" so to speak. He was my best friend more actually he was my "big brother" I don't think I had hugged people outside of my family very often until after he came along. It was him who turned me into the annoying "hugger" that I am now. We talked all the time it's actually rather hillarious that we were such good friends he was afterall ten years older then me. I remember the first time we talked, he was the first to say something "Hi, I'm David" "Hi David, I'm working." Yeah how sweet... I wasn't to sweet back then but I couldn't help how sour I was towards him. I had recently "lost" quite a few of my friends(no they didn't die) but, I knew quite matter of factly that I would never see them again. I didn't want to go through that again but he was ever so persistant.

Finally he managed to get through to me as an aquaintance, we talked. No one had ever tried so hard to get me to call him my friend or to make me happy when I was sad. He told me all the time "You can pretend all you want but one day, you are going to call me friend." He was right, shell says "He was always so good at that "predicting" stuff", so he became my friend, apparently that wasn't enough for him and now he said "You are a little sister to me and one day I will be a big brother to you." This was also right. We became such good friends that when he killed my scorpion it didn't matter! Even though I had always wanted one, finally got one and then he killed it in same day(btw this was all accidental) it didn't matter to me. We were so close people actually thought we were related awesome right?! No wonder he was so important to me. It might seem selfish, but, I didn't want him to become friends with my sis... I know shame on me. I just knew that once they became friends I would become the 'outcast' yes it's back to that. This is where that "feeling" came from(have you noticed I use a lot of these "" yet? hahaha! It's so much fun!). Every friend I had in the past were great friends to me.. Until they met her. Sad really but I didn't seem so important afterwards.

Then, it happened. They met and became friends. Suddenly I had somehow appeared on the outside looking in on what friendship used to be mine. I had, once again, lost a friend but he had been more, I had lost my brother, and cruel as fate was, to my sister(omg it's starting to sound like a love triangle BLECH! Trust me it was not like that). I don't hate my sister I thought I would make that clear now lol. Anyways, I had always been(will be) second best to my sis no changing it, it just is, maybe because she was born first. When she was thing 1 I was thing 2 is this making sense? So yes it hurt that he started ignoring me, that I wasn't as important, that my own sister no longer spoke to me as much as she once did, that every single time they had a discussion I was left out. There was no longer room for me in this friendship I understand it now but I wish I had then, but that's not the point. He didn't have a home other then his car at the time, and so mom let him stay on our couch. Yay, he moved in... not. Now I was left out of every discussion in the house that I lived in. This was the time that animals and nature became such a great part of my life, I would take walks in our woods and clear my thoughts(there was nothing else to do). Well, I can't say it wasn't sometimes fun to have him in the house. We had some good times and some bad times then he moved into the yellow house on our property and one day. He left. That was it... Just gone. I haven't seen him since and that was the end of it. So that's what happened and now I sometimes wonder if I love him or hate him. So there.

Hugs...

This bit is going to be blunt... Really blunt actually, so blunt I can't believe it's coming from me. Now recently everyone is on the topic of hugging to the point it gets on my nerves(I said it was blunt right?). Now I don't want to get anyone upset and I know we all have different veiws, this has to be understood by you guys also or else it just doesn't work out well, but, I DON'T CARE! That's right, a hug is a hug, whether shared between friends, or husbands and wives, or even between boyfriend and girlfriend, it's still a hug. Personally, to me, a hug is a form of showing affection of friendship. It doesn't matter how the hug was(side, two armed, ect.) it's a a hug for goodness sakes get it through your head. In the bible even a kiss was shared between friends and not just friends guy friends(which nowadays is weird and awkward) and now people want me to think that a hug is wrong? Well like I said it's a matter of opinion so yeah. Whatever.

The fun part:

Now this is the fun part where I just share a bunch of randomness that has happened recently(this should be good).

Portuguese...

Weird title? Yeah pretty much so here goes the story...

Me and Michele were sitting outside playing phase ten, it was Michele's turn to deal she tends to keep count.

"Uno, Dos, Tres..." Shell continues to count to ten in spanish as she deals the cards.

I was feeling very bored and random and silly... Finally Michele ends.

"Stop pretending like you know Portuguese." - Me.

Michele just stopped and looked up at me. It wasn't long before we were just about rolling on the floor laughing till our lungs burned worse then our abs.

Goofy Goober...Yeah....

We went to the wynns one day and watched a movie with Micah, Haven and John...

When we entered Micah and Haven were playing video games and instantly turned it off.

"We already picked out the best movie ever!" Said Micah very happily. This was quite odd since last time it took like forever to pick out the first one. Haven nodded vigorously and I sat in silence eyeing them suspiciously.

"Okay..." I said very much unsure. 'this ought to be good...' I thought very sarcasticly.

They pressed play as Michele and I took our seats my nightmare came true... Spongebob.... Yeah, I'm not to fond of spongebob I think it's a waist of time(sorry to anyone who watches it). At about the time they started singing the "Goofy Goober Theme Song"(idk if I even spelled that right :/) Micah looked over at me with a big grin on his face, he knows that I'm not exactly... fond of spongebob(to put it delicately).

"Are you enjoying the Movie?" He asked that same smile plain on his face.

"No comment." I said plain and simple glaring at the television.

By the end of the movie Haven and Michele were singing Goofy Goober to the point of making me want to slap them.

To My Readers:

I'm not sure who all reads my blog so I will just say that I love you all, god bless, and remember, despite what I may have said earlier to offend you, it's all a matter of opinion, and I love you all very much.

Realisation.

Recently... quite recently... in fact yesterday, a friend was getting on my nerves. I know he wasn't trying to but he was in a major way. He kept picking on me and duh that's a guy for you and supposedly it's his way of "showing love"(w/e) but I didn't feel like getting that attention from him. I would have been perfectly fine if no one had spoke to me all day long because that was what mood I was in. Yeah, dull I know but it's me. Anyways, I just wanted him to go away and leave me to my thoughts but instead he kept picking on me. We have had a conversation about it before that I'm not always in the mood for him to give me that kind of attention but I guess he had forgotten. I didn't want him to pick on me if anything I wanted it was maybe a hug. But no... He insisted on getting on my last nerve untill all I wanted was to smack him but I didn't, and I didn't say anything cause I don't like saying things like "dude your getting on my last nerve back off before I bite you" especially when that person is your friend so yeah he wasn't trying to be a jerk just succeeding.

Thinking about all of this made me realise what my pastor had been preaching about, he had been saying that God doesn't always want us to get excited and shout running around like chickens with their head cut off, sometimes he just wants us to tell him how much we love him and how willing we are to do what he wants us to. We sit here asking him for everything and giving him nothing in return. It's true that nothing amounts to what he's done for us but I bet that us trying puts a smile on his face every time he sees us do it. We think it is unnessecary for us to tell him we love him and that if he asked us to travel one thousand miles away that we would do it without hesitation cause if he is God then surely he already knows that... right? Yes that may be so but I seem to think that he most certainly wants to hear it from you every now and then. I know I do.... I have many people I am close to and I know that they love me through there actions but every now and then I just want to hear them say it... It's just not the same having someone love you as having someone tell you they love you, I bet God feels the same. So just thought I would share ^_^

Clearing up some things.

I was on facebook today taking a quiz(as I was bored out of my mind) and it was to see what kind of personality type I was.... Turns out I'm(supposedly) emo... Yeah okay, big shocker there heh heh heh. Ok I'm not saying that I wasn't surprised to see that it was emo, but, I do tend to sit off on my own alot and I can see why one might think I'm slightly emo or just intollerent of everything. I'm trying to clear some things up but I think I'm making it worse haha! That's me trying to make it better and getting myself in deeper.... Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that, I'm not an unhappy person. I love my life and wouldn't have lived it any different if I could(okay so maybe some things would be different but hey, that's everyone) I know sometimes I look sad when I sit off on my own(really wishing john-mark was reading this), but, sometimes I prefer it that way, sometimes I'm just thinking, and sometimes, it's rare but, sometimes I am sad. Other times I really don't care whether people think I'm sad and I DEFINITELY do not want to be hounded for it later...

Okay so what I'm wanting really badly to say is that please don't jump to the conclusion that I'm sad, or angry, (p.s. I don't get depressed for me depression is just a word for "I don't feel like telling you why I'm upset but I know it for myself) I just like to be alone sometimes. Most of the time I'm actually happy, and if I'm outside I'm more then likely admiring nature and trying to get away from the buisiness of life(which is always such a bother). It's not that I don't like hanging out with my friends, and it's not that I'm upset/angry with one or more of my friends I am simply alone, weird I know but it's who I am and you just have to deal with it.

What I want out of life.

So Michele made a blog titled "Pressure" and it talked about college and how she feels the need to please everyone, I for one know where she is coming from. I don't know what I want out of life, and I don't plan to stress myself thinking over it(although I probably will anyways it's just how I am). I'm not sure when, if, or if I ever will go to college. The only thing I really have planned and this is only in hopes of doing it, is to travel. I don't plan to go to college, I don't plan on not going to college, and I hope that these things that I am not planning on doing don't upset Mom and or Dad, but, it's not my job to please them. There may be times(in fact these times are quite often) when I feel it's my job to please everyone and although I would very much like to I know it isn't going to happen so therefore I don't plan to fret over it. If it happens that is great, but if not, who cares, it's my life and I'm going to do the best I can to live it the way God and I want me to. You see, I have come to understand that if I try to please everybody then I know I won't be happy and sometimes my attempts to please someone may result in me straying from God and I would never want that so from now on I am through trying to please other people I only want to please God and myself, everyone else will have to get over it. I said all this to say that all I want out of life is to live it.

Michele strikes again!!!!

So Michele and I decided to play bat mitt(sp?) today. I beat her the first two games and had a good lead on the third game, I guess she got tired of losing cause she decided to hit me in the eye with the birdie. I couldn't see much but a blur for the rest of that game and the next in which she triumphed however, I decided to quit after the fourth game as I didn't want her to gloat over a third win :P! So there you have it Michele struck ferociously once more, first the pinky, then the baseball bat, and now this! What's next? I don't know if I want to find out 0_0

What I want to do....

Friday night at Bible study John-Mark asked me and/or my sister to lead them into song before the actuall Bible study. I didn't exactly jump at the chance or idea to sing, my throat had been hurting all morning, but as I began to sing I soon forgot my throat and only heard my voice. I don't know if anyone other then me or John-Mark felt it but I could have sworn I felt God's presence inside me as I was singing. The feeling that I was singing to God about how awesome and holy he is, the way he seemed so please that I was lifting him up was just an overwhelming experience. I suppose I never thought of it much but I have been thinking since then and I would love to feel like that any time I get the chance. I have always had the desire to do something for God and now I know what that something is.

To every hill that you walk up however, is the side that will take you back down. I have a pretty descent voice(I think) and with a voice like mine comes compliments... I, like anyone else, like receiving compliments however, I don't want to do this for the wrong reason. I don't want to sing to be seen in church. I want to pour my heart and desires into these songs and lay them at God's feet to do with as he will. This is truly what I want, to lead God's people into his presence through song.

Ew!

I was sitting at the laptop playing yoville on my facebook when dad entered the room.

"Sharron." He said gaining my attention. I acknowledged him and so he continued "I have a job for you."

'Yay me' was my first and foremost thought "ok" was my reply. He walked into the bathroom obviously wanting me to follow. I sighed and stood up from where I was sitting at the table and went into the bathroom where I found him hiding behind my door, I guess he had been wanting to scare me(he isn't to good at that but then again when it comes to me not many people are). I gave him a very weird look "what are you doing?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He looked rather dissapointed and then went on to tell me what he wanted me to do.

"Dump the water from this" he pointed to a metal rectangular container that was on the ground next to the toilet. "Into the toilet. Rinse it off and then put it outside to dry." I raised an eyebrow when he looked at me once more.

"What is that water from?" I asked looking at the questionable liquid held within the container.

He shrugged his shoulders and said "I don't know I think it's from the other day when the toilet flooded." My eye's widened and I suddenly started to feel sick 'was this punishment for foiling his attempt to scare me when I entered the bathroom? Why couldn't Michele do it? Why me....?' He must have seen that I didn't like the idea as he started laughing and patted my shoulder. "Don't forget to wash your hands afterwards!" He said pasted his laughter. He was still laughing when he left. Needless to say, I now feel very, very, very, icky.... :(

Troubles of life.

There are many different ways that life can be explained... It can be a gift for some, a curse for some, but whatever life is it is life and nothing can change that. Some people dread waking up in the morning, some people wake with a smile, and many don't even think about it it just is. I'm one of those people that see each day as a chance, a chance to do something more a chance to be something more. Each day I wake up with a smile on my face knowing I have been blessed with the opportunity to do something, whether that is hanging out with my friends, going to church, working, to spread Gods word, or simply the chance to take life as it comes my way and do my best even though I will more then likely fail. There was something a character on a movie(I forget which) said, "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift" I for one very much agree with this. No matter what has me down in the dumps(normally me thinking to much and for to long about something) I always find a way to get past it. It has to be really bad to keep me down(like my sister being mad at me for no reason for example -_-), but no matter what I will always find a way to look beyond it.

Life always has a way to push me down but so long as my friends and God are here to pick me up I will be okay. A lady from our church told me that "When we fall we fall into loving arms and God will hold you untill you are ready to get back up." Those words will stick with me from now on and remind me that God is holding me and will never forget me no matter what troubles life may throw at me. Thank you God for letting there be someone around to remind me you are with me now and forever...