Recently I've had to ask myself everytime one of my friends say "I love you!", or "You're the best!" What is the worth of having a friend if they only love you for who you aren't? Sad? Maybe... Used to I was comfortable with who I was, I was the blunt/cut to the chase, sarcastic, and sometimes maybe a little harsh kind of person. You must think- "No wonder she's changed, she must have been awful!" But I guess I wasn't really to bad, to go with my blunt sarcastic harshness, I had a good sense of humor, I was good at making people laugh, and most of the things I said were not meant to be hurtful(I joked around alot.) and if I was so bad I probably wouldn't have had as many friends as I did. However, when I first came to this church I was different. I hadn't changed I simply wasn't myself for the time being. When I became friends with some of the youth they liked me when I wasn't me so I thought then why change? But it hurts so much when everytime you're with your friends your life becomes a lie. I didn't want to be myself because they didn't like me they liked the sharron they knew. But I don't. I like me.
People at this church take me far more seriously then they should. I can be serious but there is a huge difference from when I'm being serious and from when I'm joking around, for instince- "Who is that walking around the church?"-Micah "Sarah Pallin..."- Me "Really?!"- Micah "No." -Me. So yeah stupid things like that, of course I'm not serious! But they don't seem to get my sarcasm. I am known as the spunk,y sweet, always hyper, always happy girl that everyone knows and loves- yeah right. I didn't used to be. Used to I was the, snappy, sweet, sarcastic, blunt, sometimes feared girl that everyone knew and loved. What changed? I didn't want change, not yet. I liked who I was then. My closeness to God didn't change but his importance did when I began to care about what people thought. God, I don't care what they think, I know you love me for who I am because that is who you made me. So just an apology in advance if I say something hurtfull that wasn't meant to be hurtful, but I'm going back to being me, you may start to know me as a stranger, cause you don't know me, no one knows me but God(and that's all that matters), but I want you all too know that my love for you guys hasn't changed one bit, only the way I express it. If I act strange the next time we meet, it's because I decided to be the real me.
No comments:
Post a Comment