A more colorful life...

The last blog I wrote was at the beginning of the year. It's not been an overly long time and yet quite a bit has changed since, some change for the better and some change for the worse, but mostly better. As such is, I have decided to write this one blog with a full update of my life since(it's gonna be a long one) I am writing it for me more so then the few readers but here goes...

A more colorful life..

.P.E.A.C.E.

In my life, short lived as it is, peace isn't something that hasn't been something that's easy to come by. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed my life thoroughly for the most part, however we all have storms that we go through, I don't pretend I am the only one and that mine are far worse then those of the people around me. Despite the fact, it hurts. Still this past month God has given me such an astounding peace I don't want anything to change, but I know that isn't the way I should be thinking. I want to grow in God, to do so I know more storms will come and in spite of the peace I have now I welcome the challenge and hope to prevail. But still I thank God for the peace he has given me this month and I while it lasts I shall continue to enjoy the ease of my mind and I hope that I don't get to comfortable. But the fight has ended this past year and for now the taste of victory is sweet ^_^.

I still have my reasons to be angry and upset, but they are few and nothing that breathing won't help.

.N.O. .N.E.E.D. .T.O. .S.A.Y. .G.O.O.D.B.Y.E.

Otherwise known as the "The Call" by Regina Spektor.

I hadn't known him for long, a little over a year, but I still count him among my friends. We're not very and he wasn't the kind of person I could carry on a conversation with forever but I can't say I won't miss him.

He hadn't been at church Sunday morning or Sunday night, it was unusual but someone told me he had decided to go to another church. It had been awhile since I had talked to him when he came Tuesday and I had decided I would hang out with him because of it. I ended up catching him as he was leaving because I had not been able to hang out with him much Tuesday night either because he had seemingly disappeared(I'm not nosy enough to ask him where he was. I was only joking when I gave him a hug and said "I wanted to say bye cause I don't know when I'll see you again." I only meant that he had not been in church on Sunday but as it turns out he is actually switching his home church to one in Cleveland where he now lives.

I didn't find out till last night and, despite the fact that I didn't know him long and was never overly attached to him to begin with, it made me sad to think I wouldn't be able to see him much anymore. He wrote a blog explaining that he was changing his home church and why he had done so but that he would still be around simply not as much. At first I was only sad that he wasn't going to be around but then the song "The Call" by Regina Spektor came on. The chorus says "I'll come back when it's over(or when you call me, it changes through the song) there's no need to say goodbye." I simply thought, 'Hey, he's still gonna be around, there's no need to mope.' I decided not to act like he wasn't going to be around anymore, I'll just have to hang out with him more often when he is.

So to my friend- I'll miss you and I'll see you around.

.L.I.F.E. .W.I.T.H.O.U.T. .Y.O.U.

Somehow he's I never thought we would end up as friends when I met him, but we did. I remember the day we met clear as crystal, better then I remember meeting anyone else, and I don't really know why. It wasn't touching, I never thought much of him except as another person, and yet I remember. It took me over six months to actually talk to him and actually talk to him. It was after that, that we started hanging out and then became friends. Sometime later, I can't quite remember how much later, but he became one of my best friends, I opened up to him more then I did anyone else, I don't know why except that he was willing to listen. I really enjoyed his company but recently we've somehow grown distant. I really wish we hadn't.... We still talk, but not nearly as much as we used to, and not with as much cheer. Most of the time it is a simple "Hello, how are you?" "Good, you?" "I'm doing okay..." and that's the end of it. I miss him in this sense and I hope whatever happened to make us grow distant is mended soon. I don't have anyone to talk to with him....

.S.N.O.W. .D.A.Y.

I woke up this morning feeling reluctant to start my day. For some reason I didn't want to face whatever life held for me. Not long after I woke up it started snowing, only softly but it was snow nonetheless. Snow has always made me happy, despite how cold it is, it is soft, and pretty, it makes everything clean and white, and it's all in all beautiful. It makes me happy and smiley and puts a warm feeling in me. Even with that little bit of snow my day was turning out better. Imagine how happy I was when snow started pouring like rain at our house. Not thirty minutes later, the snow had already given a transparent layer of white to the ground, and exactly after thirty minutes it began to stick like glue. I'm happy to cut things short, very happy. I decided to take my horse out for a ride in the snow, for some reason it always makes me smile to ride my horse and as happy as snow makes me, I can imagine I was almost too hyper to sit on black(my horse). As I rode to the end of the drive way a large truck pulled in, out of it our neighbor, and my brother-in-law's brother, got out of the car. I hadn't even realized I wasn't wearing proper clothes for the weather when he asked if I was crazy, my response- "Just a little..."

I will have to say that is the end of my blog because my dad wants on the computer and I am off to play in the snow ^_^.

And then comes facebook...

It started out innocent, reading blogs, making an occasional comment, you know small stuff like that. He talked to certain people about certain blogs they had wrote and really enjoyed learning more about his daughters friends. Soon however it had became an addiction. The first thing my dad has always done when he gets on the laptop is check the weather and then his e-mail, it was one of those days that I realised, he was being sucked into the world of blogger...



It was cold when I woke up still misty in the early hour of the morning. I stepped into my slippers, a usuall way of starting my day, and walked into the kitchen. I already smelt the sweet scent of coffee, that stated dad was up. I heard a faint clicking as I walked toward the dining room. Darn, he's already on the laptop... was my thoughts at the noise. As I stepped into the dining room and turned he was crouched over the laptop click I heard more loudly now and then the a soft rubbing noise as his finger scrolled across the built in pad meant to be a mouse. I went behind him and saw the background of Esther's Blog. "What is the weather going to be like this week?" I asked my dad and waited impatiently for his long pause to end "huh?" He finally said once more, "the weather?" I said once more. "Oh yeah, I haven't checked yet." My face must have been ridiculous with the look of astonishment, "you haven't?" I asked once more. "No I haven't." "Ok.... Any new blogs?" I asked eyebrow raised. "Yeah, Jessie wrote one, now I'm reading Esther's." Then I knew it was an addiction but soon after it became an obsession, he created himself a blog, and then came facebook....

The real me~ What I want to be

Recently I've had to ask myself everytime one of my friends say "I love you!", or "You're the best!" What is the worth of having a friend if they only love you for who you aren't? Sad? Maybe... Used to I was comfortable with who I was, I was the blunt/cut to the chase, sarcastic, and sometimes maybe a little harsh kind of person. You must think- "No wonder she's changed, she must have been awful!" But I guess I wasn't really to bad, to go with my blunt sarcastic harshness, I had a good sense of humor, I was good at making people laugh, and most of the things I said were not meant to be hurtful(I joked around alot.) and if I was so bad I probably wouldn't have had as many friends as I did. However, when I first came to this church I was different. I hadn't changed I simply wasn't myself for the time being. When I became friends with some of the youth they liked me when I wasn't me so I thought then why change? But it hurts so much when everytime you're with your friends your life becomes a lie. I didn't want to be myself because they didn't like me they liked the sharron they knew. But I don't. I like me.

People at this church take me far more seriously then they should. I can be serious but there is a huge difference from when I'm being serious and from when I'm joking around, for instince- "Who is that walking around the church?"-Micah "Sarah Pallin..."- Me "Really?!"- Micah "No." -Me. So yeah stupid things like that, of course I'm not serious! But they don't seem to get my sarcasm. I am known as the spunk,y sweet, always hyper, always happy girl that everyone knows and loves- yeah right. I didn't used to be. Used to I was the, snappy, sweet, sarcastic, blunt, sometimes feared girl that everyone knew and loved. What changed? I didn't want change, not yet. I liked who I was then. My closeness to God didn't change but his importance did when I began to care about what people thought. God, I don't care what they think, I know you love me for who I am because that is who you made me. So just an apology in advance if I say something hurtfull that wasn't meant to be hurtful, but I'm going back to being me, you may start to know me as a stranger, cause you don't know me, no one knows me but God(and that's all that matters), but I want you all too know that my love for you guys hasn't changed one bit, only the way I express it. If I act strange the next time we meet, it's because I decided to be the real me.

Five again...

Today I was at work doing a leaf job, we had went by a Bi-Lo earlier in the morning before heading to work. This girl I work with has.... problems(to put it lightly). Anyways, after we left Bi-Lo we went straight to work. It wasn't fifteen minutes of us being there that she went up to Dad and said "Hey, um... I gotta use the bathroom."

Dad stared blankly at her for a total of three seconds before he realized that she wasn't joking. "You what?" He said in monotone. He knew what she had said but obviously he had hoped he had misheard her. She simply looked at him innocently. "Why didn't you go to the bathroom at Bi-Lo's?!" He exploded.

"I didn't have to go then!!!" She said in a whiney five-year-old voice.

"Gosh your a pain!" He said obviously not enjoying the idea that he would have to take her somewhere that she could use the bathroom. "This might be your last time working with me." He quite matter of factly(it had not been the first time she had done this to him.).

----

I don't care if it did anger Dad, I thought it was all hilarious.

^_^

Still invisible.....

It amazes me how he can hear someone from half-way across the room, but he can't hear me when I'm standing right next to him...

To wear or not to wear...?

This subject has been eating at me recently.

My dear friend whom I love so much posted a blog recently about pants and skirts. Alot of people replied with their own opinions on the subject. Someone said something along the lines of, "This just means that the closer you get to God the more convictions you have...", don't get me wrong, I'm not disagreeing. I don't say this just because I wear pants but, just because you wear a skirt doesn't mean that you are closer to God then the people who wear pants. I'm not against skirts, I mean, I wear them too, but just because I wear pants also doesn't make me a lesser being then women that choose to wear skirts constantly. If pants is your conviction then so be it, it's not mine and that's that. Hope no one hates me for it but I am perfectly okay with myself wearing pants, I don't think it's wrong of me, I said all of this to say that everyone has their own convictions, wearing pants just isn't one of mine...

Much love,
Sharri

six things I hate....

This is just some of my most recent pet peeves I suppose. Well.... not recent, but I only recently started thinking about what actually does get on my nerves.





A sarcastic comment mistook for "grumpiness"- The other night I was at someone's house and when someone walked through the door he shouted "HELLO SHARRI!" I replied "Hello loudness..." Then he called me grumpy... that was not me being grumpy, I was simply being sarcastic(nothing strange there, seriously Josh.)





Snobs-I was sitting next to Josh in church one Sunday morning and some stranger was on the other side of me, apparently she used to go to the church and most of the people knew her from Chimes, anyways, Pastor Wynn said(as usuall), "Shake someone's hand and thank them for being here today." I, of course, shook Josh's hand and then went to shake the stranger's hand. She flat out ignored me, yep, didn't even glance my way! Maybe it was wrong of me but it didn't matter at the time, I looked back at brother Wynn as he began to sing and muttered "snob" just loud enough towhere she could hear.





Whiney Soldiers- Yesterday I was sitting in the car headed home from work with Dad listening to, the most despised, NPR(National Public Radio) News. They were doing a live interveiw with a soldier, and he was whining on behalf of the army. His exact words were "You could ask any soldier here each one would take the first plane home." I'm sure that it's true but that's exactly what upsets me. We treat them like heroes, they are heroes I mean, they risk their lives to fight for their country every day, and that's just it! They are the one's who decided to join the army in the first place, and now they are going to whine that it's dangerous?! Well duh! Of course it's dangerous! What did they think was going to happen? Did they think that once they joined the army they would kick up there feet and drink coffee and eat biscottis?! Gosh.... I need to get off this subject.

Fly away by John Denver- Whiniest song in the world... I just hate it basically.

Zoning out when with friends- John always thinks I upset, angry or depressed, when he asks me what's wrong and I reply "nothing" he doesn't believe me?! Why does he not believe me?... Oh well.

Overly happy dogs- Better leave that one alone...

I'll stop at that, before I get all piped up about these subjects(all of the above.).