Sharri Beth

Scaring the Sam

2011-09-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

After alot of planning and remembering to grab the suit, we finally pulled it off :D

My "contemplating" face :D

2011-08-18T17:26:00.001-07:00

I am a lady of many faces(not in any way to be confused with being "two-faced"). I suppose a safer way of putting it is to say that I am a lady of many expressions...?

Tristan's laughter brought me back to earth from the distant planet in my mind in which all my thoughts are processed. "What is it?" I asked him out of curiosity. "You made a face I hadn't seen before, it was so cute!" He said sweetly(as always). "I did?" I asked once more. Apparently I make a lot of different faces without knowing it until he points them out. "Yeah, your nose was all scrunched and your eyebrows were furrowed but only slightly and your mouth was pushed to the side like you were puckering."(he is very good at describing the faces to me.) "Like this?" I made the face once more causing him to laugh again. "Yeah, that's it." "Oh.... must be my contemplation face." I stated with a sigh. "What were you contemplating." "Nothing important...... Say, do you think Toby would care if I took a sip of his drink?" He simply laughed again..

We talk of love...

2011-06-21T07:02:00.001-07:00

...when we can't make peace with the person next door.

...when we turn on our friends without a second thought.

...when we can't find anything in ourselves but hate.

...when our hearts are so full of anger that we can't escape.

...when our souls are cold and our heads are hot.

...In times like these, we talk of love.

The Formal

2011-05-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

May 21st of 2011 we will once again be having a spring formal at MDT. Alot of people are rather excited about it. I'm not necessarily psyched but I am definitely going. Unfortunately a lot of the kids seem to feel that it's necessary to have a date for the formal. I don't know why they make such a big deal out of it. This will be the third year in a row that we've done this but for some odd reason this year everyone seems to think that it would be very important to have someone to bring with them. I do think that its adorable that all the little boys are wanting a girl to go with I just think it's horrible that there is only one girl around their age. I feel very sorry for that one girl. My friend Samie has already had three different(very young) little boys ask her to go to the formal with her and I've already disappointed two myself. "Why can't you just go by yourself?" I asked him. "Because everyone else has someone to go with." He replied. "Don't you get tired of being like everyone else? I don't have to have someone to go with." I stated quite simply. "So you're not going with anyone?" he asked. "No, not that I know of anyways, and if I decide to go with anyone it won't be because everyone else has a date." I said. I don't know why everyone feels the need to have someone to go with but I wish I could tell everyone that going by yourself is perfectly acceptable and it's stupid to feel weird because you don't have someone to go with. I had fun at both of the formals before this one without having a date and I intend to enjoy this one also date or dateless. :) Enjoy the formal everyone. :D

The Hardest Decision in my life RIGHT NOW

2011-04-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Green Chai Tea or English Tea Time tea. I love this relaxed life of mine, it makes me happy. For a long time I have lived my life the "smart" way, I thought about everything I did and said and the way I said or did it or if I should even do or say it at all, and it got old.... Recently, however, I stopped being so cautious, I don't live my life recklessly or anything like that, but I don't take unnecessary thought to every detail of my life like I once did and I have never felt so relaxed/happy in my life! It might not be the "smart" way to live my life, but I am truly, very happy living my life in this manner. I'm happy to not care and put pressure on myself that is unnecessary, I'm happy to not care about whether this is or isn't the smart thing to do, so if you would like to keep your critisizing to yourself on this one, I would be very, VERY, happy :) Love you guys!

-Sharri

Daffodil Vs. Iris

2011-04-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

Take the Chivalry Iris for example, it is in many ways far more beautiful and extravagant than the daffodil. It's color deep and vibrant, it's shape unique and elegant, why in comparison to the common yellow daffodil, it is easily a far lovelier flower. It might make more sense for someone to favor the Chivalry Iris over the Daffodil. It's prettier, bright, much more spectacular than the boring daffodil. But maybe I don't have to make sense.. maybe the daffodil just fits better. :)

This is a very random draft from a long while ago, I assume I simply meant that sometimes what we like doesn't have to make sense to everyone else as long as it makes sense to us :)

Embarrassing stories of Nathaniel Libbeys life by Sharron Brown

2011-04-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

PSYCH!

I have however been very tempted to make a blog out of some of your embarrassing stories but since I promised not to tell anyone I won't. But I suggest not mentioning too many more of them to me or it might slip my mind ;) lol!

My life is interesting...

2011-02-10T16:11:00.000-08:00

Alot has happened that I simply haven't posted anything about because I haven't posted anything in quite sometime so this is going to be a long one(unless I cut it short). Enjoy :)

At around(I think) the middle of September(maybe it was earlier) my sister started dating this guy Michael. Michael lives in Wolftown Virginia.... Very far from Cleveland Tennessee. He is a great guy, very tender and sweet, a good sense of humor and a very gently individual. Unfortunately it didn't work out between them :( but Michele met someone(just a figure of speech, she already knew him) else. His name is Toby and he is an equally awesome guy. He's kind, funny and perfect for my sister. They make eachother happy and as long as my sister is happy thats all that matters and if anyone upsets her I would probably be the first to take their head clean of their shoulders because I love her to bits :)

They have already been on lots of dates(chaperoned by none other than myself :D). They really seem to like eachother, which is good because I think that they are good for eachother(if nothing else because they make an awesome team on most video games... j/k :P). The fact that they have known eachother as friends for three years without liking eachother means that they know how to be real around eachother without worrying about what the other one thinks because after knowing eachother for three years and they like eachother its probably genuine. I hope everything works out for them because they deserve eachother(something I rarely say so now you know that Toby is an awesome guy cause hardly anyone deserves my sister). I would say now that he had better treat her right, but I know that I don't have to worry about that as long as she's with him.

GATLINBURGH!!!!

Some Saturday in January we went to Gatlinburgh it was Toby, Michele, Jessie(An awesome girl I go to church with), Micah(An awesome guy I go to church with(also Jessie's boyfriend)), Tristan(Toby's friend from work), and me. We went out to eat at T.G.I. Fridays and we also played mini gulf, visited about twenty ninja stores, went to two haunted houses, played in an Arcade for a bit, and ate at Mel's Diner on the way back. It was a blast. The best part of the day however, I would have to say, was the first haunted house we went to. Multiple hilarious things happened in that haunted house....

"Walk in a single file line with your hand on the shoulder of the person in front of you." I heard the worker say as we walked into the haunted house. Jessie and Micah had gone to Ripley's Museum leaving Toby, Michele, Tristan and I to venture into the haunted house by ourselves. There were two people in the front that we didn't know. In the order of front to back Michele was behind the two people we didn't know, than Toby, and than me, and than Tristan. Doing as we were told we made a human chain, hand to shoulder. During some random point as we walked through the dark hallway I felt Tristans hand leave my shoulder. "Tristan?" I said. No response. "Where did you go?" I still didn't get an answer as we continued to walk through the haunted house. This made me paranoid to begin with. As we started to walk into another room Tristan seized his chance, he jumped out grabbed me by the shoulders and I don't know if he made any scary noise because I screamed so loud that it probably blocked it out. "Tristan I'm gonna shoot you after this!" I yelled when I realised who it was. He simply laughed of course.

As we made our way into the next room a faint red light lit up the hallway. Fake body bags hung from the ceiling. Chain-link fencing was placed randomly in the room. Red paint splattered the walls. On the other side of the room a man stood behind a fenced in room with a body lying on a table before him. He took out what appeared to be some sort of innerd(actually just a sock full of beanies and soaked in water) from the fake corpse and threw it hard against the chain-link fence to splatter "blood" across the spectators. Unfortunately I was still fussing at Tristan when it happened so we both missed it. Michele(who tends to lighten the mood on things) looked at the man "That was kool but my friends missed it, could you do it again please?" she asked quite simply. Dumb-founded the employee(obviously not seeing how we could possibly miss it) said "Open your eyes!" he did it again and than sighed. As we left the room I heard him say "I never had a request before..." I couldn't help but laugh.

The next "interesting" room we entered was the hallway with spinning walls and a bridge that goes through the middle. It throws you off ballance and makes you feel like your walking sideways. After spending too much time in this particular room I started feeling sick and walked to the room on the other side of the bridge. After a while Tristan came to see if I was okay. I told him yes and he started to go back into the room when I heard Michele say, "I can run through without using my hands, watch this!" unfortunately Michele didn't know that it also messed with your depth perception. Alls I saw was Michele flying past Tristan and me and running into the wall. I laughed so hard I felt like they would have to carry me out due to how badly my abbs were hurting. This was possibly the most hilarious thing that happened that day. I don't think that I'll ever forget it.

Finally after leaving that room we started back to the entrance. The people who had come at the same time as us were long gone by now. I think we had spent a top of fifteen minutes in that one room. It was so dark that I couldn't see two inches in front of my face. I had to rely completely on Tobys navigational skills as he had now taken the lead and Michele was the one who I was holding the shoulder of. I suddenly felt the walls close in on me from either side, I assume that the walls were actually some inflatable material and we now had to squeeze through them to get to the other side. Behind me I heard Tristan say "Ouch, I just ran into a wall." This struck me as odd since it was physically impossible to run into anything because of how tight of a fit it was.

"THIS WAY OUT" The sign in front of us read. Instead of following the sign, however, we decided to inspect the rest of the hallway. In the back there was a door with a window on it behind the window there was a figure. Toby knocked on the glass. He thought he saw him flench but when he didn't move beyond that Toby thought it was just a manacan. As we started to walk back we heard the door open and turned around. "Can't you read moron?!" The man yelled "What are you retarded?!" He said once more. He closed the door. I laughed as we walked towards the exit. We heard a loud noise like a chainsaw and the man followed us out the exit with a fake chainsaw like a zombie "Here take the small one!" Tristan said as he grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me towards the guy with the chainsaw. We left the haunted house and the moment we stepped outside the exit we heard pretty peaceful music playing. It was a very, very fun day. :)

I can't think of anything else important but that was the good stuff :)

Confronting your fears! =)

2011-02-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately this is something I'm not ultimately good at. I have more the tendency to shreak and run the opposite direction like the coward I am =P. But even so I realise that there are some things in life that are just better left delt with. One of my greatest fears is of loneliness, I'm sure there is no one who wants to be lonely but it's not just fear of never meeting the illusive "right one" either. I have never been so lonely that I ponder if I will die alone(thank God) but even so loneliness can drive people to do many stupid things in life. It causes the mind to wander places that it shouldn't. This is why I refuse to be lonely. I have amazing friends and an even better family, and though on occasion I may wish for more than friends and family(hasn't happened yet), if I remember that my friends and family can be there for me just as much as anyone else, than I have nothing to wish for because I have it already. I do want to one day find my "special someone" but I refuse to get desperate and I refuse to settle for less than what God has planned for me. I trust God enough that if he wants me to meet someone special than he will place that person in my life(if he hasn't already) but I will live my life happily whether with my friends and family or with them plus "the right one". :)

"Surprise!" "What?"

2010-11-10T12:18:00.000-08:00

My friends are so awesome that I sometimes find myself wondering if I deserve them... Tuesday night after church my best friend Rachael came to sit next to me "Hey, we are having some friends over after church to drink some hot chocolate if you want to come." she said "Oh well I might be able to come over, I think mom said something about having work to do." "I'll help ask if you think it will help convince her." she said enthusiastically(you would have thought that we were twelve.) we than decided to locate my mother "Please!!!" we begged after asking if I could come over. "No, not tonight," my mom started "I'm so tired, I just need to go to sleep." "Oh okay." was my reply. "Well sorry Rachael." "It's okay." Her and some of my friends left shortly afterwards. We were the last to leave. "Do you think people are still at the Roddericks?" Mom asked. "No I doubt it." Dad replied. "Well, they left only a little before we did." I cut in. "Nah, lets go home." Dad said. "Well, we'll stop by and see but we can only stay for a little while." said mom. When we pulled up Rachael was sitting on the porch by herself. "Why is she outside by herself when her friends are here?" I asked out loud. "I wonder if she's okay, I'll go see." I decided. I got out of the car and proceeded to question Rachael. "You got to come!" She exclaimed and gave me a hug grabbed my hand and rushed me to the door. "Yeah they decided we could on the way-" I was cut off as the door opened "Surprise!!!!" they all shouted. Needless to say I was quite stunned I almost screamed myself. Surprised I was, it was very unexpected. "You should have seen the look on your face, you just about jumped out of your skin." Seth said later on in the night. "Well, it was pretty surprising." I said half zoned out from the night.

I have never had friends that would care enough for me to do something like that. I was amazed. The most shocking part of the night was when I found out who thought to throw me a party, it was definitely the last person I expected, I thanked him and his sister for planning it. It was a good night all in all. My first feeling was happiness but the after thought was fear.. I've always been cautious of who I allow myself to get close to, the only thing certain and constant I have come to find is that people come and people go and too many people have gone... I guess I'm scared that I might lose these people, and they actually do care for me as much as I care for them, to lose them is the last thing I want in life, but one day it is inevitable either I will lose them, or they will lose me...

Sweet 16

2010-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

"When is your birthday?" asked April. Sunday night we had went to the Oasis building to help rearrange some tables for the Fall Festival. "This coming Thursday." I replied. "Wow, this Thursday? I mean, I knew it was on November eleven, I just hadn't gathered that it was actually November already." Said Rachael. "How old will you be?" asked April. "Sixteen" I replied. "What will you do for your birthday?" asked Leah. For a short moment I reflected on the past three years. "Probably nothing." I said. "What? Why not? It's your sixteenth birthday." Said Leah. "I don't know, I've not really had a birthday party for the past two or three years so, I don't really see a reason to have one now, besides, we're all busy moving." I said simply. "Can't you ask your mom and dad to throw you a party?" she asked. "I could but if the idea isn't theirs' then they probably don't really want to and if they don't want to than I don't want them to." I said quite simply.

The Night Before.

"So your birthday is coming up." Said Kristi. "Ooooh! What are you gonna do?" asked her sister Felisha. "Um I don't know, probably nothing special." I said. "Oh... We don't normally have a party for my birthday either." said Kristi. "Just a little family get together with a cake." "That's nice." I said. "Nice? I don't get to see any of my friends.." She said. I wasn't trying to sound mopy... I really don't care. "At least you have a cake." I replied. I guess I shouldn't have said it. I really don't even like cake I was just saying it could be worse. "What do you mean? You don't get a cake?" She asked. "Well, I'm pretty sure I would get one if I asked for one." I said simply again. "But they don't buy you one? It's like a tradition. You're always supposed to have a cake on you're birthday." She insisted. "Why?" I said bluntly. "Because," she laughed "it's a cake, you don't need a reason why." 'I would rather blow the candles out of ice cream than a cake anyways.' I thought. "okay." I said giving up on arguing with her.

Friday.

"What do you want for your birthday?" Asked Dad. "You ask me that every year, I always tell you the same thing, I don't know." 'when will they stop asking?' I thought as sighed. "Well if you don't tell me I won't know what to get you." Said Dad. 'Which is exactly why I don't tell you.' I thought once more but decided to remain silent.

The thing is, whenever my birthday comes around I am reminded how little everyone knows me. There are few material things in life that I want. Other than that I just want to know that they care. A party where the family or friends decided to throw it for you without even seeing if you wanted one just because they wanted to be nice, that says "I care". And if you have to ask me what I want for my birthday than that says. "I don't know you well enough to know what you want without having to ask you" that or "I don't feel like taking the time to think about what you like or what you might want for your birthday". So if you want to know what for I want for my birthday it's for you to figure it out on your own. I'm not trying to be mean but every time someone asks what I want for my birthday I feel like it's for one of the reasons above. If you ask me the best gift you can give is a gift that says I care...

A casual wednesday at the Brown house...

2010-10-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

"Late for another Funeral.." Dad said as he scurried out of his bedroom. Yes, a funeral, recently we had went to sing for a dieing old lady, she was so precious and totally ready for what was coming. She felt she was prepared. The last song we sang was "Amazing Grace" and it was so sweet that she joined in. This was the same lady who's funeral they were attending. Recently our lives have been rather hectic. Quite sometime ago I posted a blog saying we were moving to Athens from Cleveland.... Now we are in the process of moving back to Cleveland from Athens. It's a very long and somewhat confusing story that I wouldn't dare make you endure. This Wednesday isn't casual due to the fact that Mom and Dad were attending a funeral(I don't want you to think that we attend funerals on a regular basis. XP) it is simply normal because it is so full. Not only did they have a funeral to attend but tonight we will also be going to a church service with Bro. Wynn in knoxville, and tomorrow, we have grandma and grandpa visiting, Friday we have a friend spending the night as well as dinner and a movie with our friends at 7:00-whenever (I'm not sure if we will go or not) as well as a youth group trip to a corn maze at 1:00 on Saturday... *sighs* I have a feeling that the days will be getting longer... Oh well. :)

Big Sensitive Guy

2010-09-27T09:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, he's not really that sensitive. I can understand why he would be upset. I was such a jerk to him and I don't know why, I was just joking but I guess I touched on something that was a little more than a joke to him. The last thing he said to me that night was "I'm sorry I'll be around tomorrow to make your life miserable." that put a somewhat sinking feeling in my stomach. 'You don't make my life miserable!' I wanted to yell so loudly, 'You make it anything but...' of course, I'm not a very gutsy person as well as the fact that he was already in his car and gone.

The next morning he actually was acting all happy and he was being a lot of fun to be around. We hung out a lot of the day. Since he was acting so nice I didn't think to say anything about the night before to him. Then during the service we were running camera and I noticed how bad my thumb looked(A completely different story) "Hey *person*," I said "yeah?" he asked "remember how I told you last night about when I hurt my thumb?" "No I don't think so." he replied. "Oh you don't?" I said once more, I know I had told him about it. "Oh yeah," he said "that was right before you started telling me that I'm a gloomy person and need to cheer up or people weren't going to want to be around me." he stated quite simply "I remember now." I cried.... I didn't mean to upset him and the fact that he was bringing it up again must mean that I really did hurt his feelings. 'But I never said people won't want to be around him I was talking about myself' (It's a very long and detailed story that I don't feel like typing out right now).

So whenever we got off camera's the moment service was over I asked him about it. "Hey *person*, did I offend or upset you last night?" I asked him. "A little..." He replied. "Well I really am sorry... I didn't mean to I was just joking, and you're my friend and I do care about how you feel, especially if the way you feel is a result of my actions or behavior... So... I'm really, really sorry..." I said, feeling much better after having done so. "It's okay, it's not like I was mad, I was just... I don't know." He said and smiled at me.

So that's over and done with, and my feeling bad for offending him wasn't why I posted this blog. How many times have I offended someone and they just haven't told me? Well there is a very easy way of telling whether or not I'm serious about the things I say, if I'm serious then I won't say it, if I'm joking I will. It might seem strange but I have this thing about upsetting people, I don't like to and I would never do it on purpose. So if I feel the things that I'm saying are true and might upset the person, especially if I'm speaking seriously to this person, than I will keep my mouth shut. However if I feel the things I'm saying are totally untrue and won't upset them than I say it as a joke(like someone calling me fat, having a waist-size of a tooth-pick I obviously won't be offended). So if you ever catch me saying something that offends you, you should actually be pleased cause I mean the total opposite. :D Does that make sense?

Neat Freak..?

2010-09-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

My sister went to stay with my sister in Murfreesboro for a week while Jack(my nephew) stayed with us. I never realized how much of a neat freak I was untill she left.(Not that she's a slob just that it's easier for me to keep my stuff clean whenever it's just me) Our room has never been so clean and it has stayed that way for the entire week. Recently one of my brothers came into the room and moved something and they were so shocked when I freaked out on them because I had been unable to find it. "Everything has it's place if you would just put it back where you found it than things would be alot more simple." The statement(after I had made it) shocked me to. I'm not a super clean neat freak that panics everytime something touches the floor, I would just prefer it not to. I'm still trying to find out if it's a good or bad thing. I used to get annoyed with my grandmother because she is so clean and now I feel odd because I realize how clean I am.. I guess it's not bad to be clean and neat, I just need to not be annoying in doing so. :)

My "Secondary Automatic Gag Reflex"

2010-09-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

Is my bellybutton... It might seem weird but anytime someone pokes it my first thought is the feeling that my stomach has just whirled upside down and the lurch that says, "Time to lose your lunch" clenches at my tummy. Queasiness is an automatic reaction anytime someone pokes it. I can't stand for it to be poked, or for anyone to poke their bellybutton, or to talk or describe bellybuttons, or for people to even show me their bellybutton. It's just not a nice subject for me.

Needless to say as you are probably already laughing pretty hard about what was previously stated, but people seem to find it hilarious! How is that funny? It's like sticking your finger in someone's ear, or mouth, or nose! It's just gross! I guess I can kind of see why it's funny but still. Today Leah(one of the awesome Libbeys I posted about earlier :) held me down while my other friend Rachael(who is also very awesome) poked my bellybutton more than once might I add.(They are both still awesome to me) I was sad afterwards, 'Why do they do that?' I thought sniffling inwardly. I was upset, but not to the point of tears, only in a mopey way.

Rachael has two little brothers that remind me very much of my own, annoying but adorable, who also know of my issues with my bellybutton. Today we went to a self defense class with them to observe them learn. They told these issues to their instructor, later on he came over and mentioned it to me. "Actually, most people miscalculate where my bellybutton is located." I stated quite simply, "Oh really?" He said inquisitively "Yep, it's because her torso is longer than most peoples." Said Michele. 'Great, he won't miscalculate now!' I thought. Later on he poked my bellybutton and scared me half to death. 'This big married man that knows martial arts just poked my bellybutton! What do I do?!' it was scary. He was a funny guy but, my bellybutton?! Really? Oh well. I don't understand people. :/

Yesterday; conviction, today; corruption, tomorrow...?

2010-09-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

Judgment.

"Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the Lord out of the heavens" Genesis 19:24. "Turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward would live ungodly" II Peter 2:6. Humans of today have ignored this example as to what God will do to those who live ungodly. What ever happened to "in God we Trust"? America was built upon the foundation of Christianity, but look around you and what do you see? People used to fear God now they mock him. Pornography floods the streets, alcoholic beverages are being promoted everywhere you turn, murder and rape is at an all time high, people constantly doing harm to their own bodies via drugs, smoking, alcohol, and God still has not forsaken us. What does he have to do to get people to see that he has always been there and always will be. No greater love. And what do us humans do? Spit on it. If I was in Gods place the world would not have lasted this long. It's sad to say and I've actually told some people that I can no longer say "I'm proud to be an American" in fact, I'm pretty ashamed of the fact. Life might be easier in America than it is in other parts of the world, but we are a country built on Christianity and we have totally forsaken our God for the exact things he would have us abandon. It's so sad to think that our America has become the "Sodom and Gomorrah" that God once destroyed as an example to us that would live ungodly and we have decided to overlook this and live ungodly anyways! It's unbelievable!

I suppose the church of today is the 'Lot' that's keeping God from destroying America because honestly I don't see much that's worth him sparing. "I can't honestly say I'm proud to be an American anymore, because it wouldn't be true."-me "Yep, I can't believe it's lasted this long."-Dad.

Life without Libbeys...

2010-09-05T20:44:00.001-07:00

Okay, everyone know the Libbeys so I might as well just use names. :)

*The list(What libbeys are good for and why I would miss them)

Okay, so just for the record, I would miss all of the Libbeys if they ever disappeared from my life because they are awesome people and I love them all. These are just extras :)

Target Practice
Sunshine
Smiles
Make-up tips(can sometimes live without ;)
Hugs
Ride to resteraunts(and other places :P)
Volleyball and other things that involve moving ^_^

-Target Practice-
Okay so it might be a little harsh of me to say so but I have a joke that the only thing Seth is good for is "target practice" :) It would seem to be about the same thing with Josh(again only joking). Normally at lunch when the table gets quiet and everything starts to be boring, me and Josh or me and Seth end up have a mini battle with throwing stuff at eachother across the table. This last Sunday, they were on vacation. Conversation was going slow and I already had a piece of paper rolled into a ball already prepared to throw it at someone across the table. I looked up as soon as I had finished. Darn it! I thought No Libbeys.... Who am I supposed to throw it at now?! It might seem hilarious to you, but to me it was a serious delimma.

*Sunshine*
That's what I call Leah. She seems to be the best at cheering me up when I'm down, if not for saying something to make me feel better than it's her habit of honesty that puts a smile on my face. "Sharron?" "Yes?" "Are you wearing green eye makeup?" "Yes Leah. Why?" "No reason..." "What? Seriously, why?" "You kinda look like you're on drugs..." Yes I laughed, for quite sometime. I love her for her honesty. Anytime she's around on a day where the sun is hidden from me, the first song that comes to mind is 'I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day.' The funny thing is that I absolutely despise that song with every fiber of my being because its slow and makes me feel sad, when it's supposed to be a happy song. The second song that comes to mind is 'You are my Sunshine'-Now that's a happy song. :P

(: Smiles :)
Okay, so it's not like no one smiles when they aren't around. But I never have seen such a smile so bright and happy as Esther's. Everytime she smiles I can't help but do the same just because she's such a happy person. I swear there are always more smiles when she is around. I saw people smile alot while she was gone to but there is definitely a difference :)

Make-up tips.
This brings me back to "Sunshine". She is the only one that is honest about my makeup. When she is gone, half of the people I know tell me, "Oh wow, you're makeup looks awesome!" the other half says "What happened to your face?" and meanwhile I and simply confused. Josh normally enjoys making fun of me no matter how good I look so normally I ignore his comments. However, when Leah makes a comment about how my makeup looks I normally except it as her totally honest opinion. Thats what I like about her :)

~Hugs~
Leah and Esther give the best hugs on earth. Leah always does this thing, if I'm wearing a long skirt(as we recently decided it's not good to do when wearing a skirt that only goes to the knees is not such a good idea), where she picks me up and spins me around. I always feel totally dizzy afterwards but the main thing is that it is worth it lol. Esther always gives me an awesome hug just because she doesn't give me one that says 'Uh, I really don't want to hug this person and I wish she would leave me alone.' instead she gives me one that says 'Oh, yay, it's my happy little burnette friend whom I love so much, Hug and Happiness! YAY!' ^_^

Rides to Resteraunts
Normally I ride with Josh everywhere(I LOVE his car :), when Josh isn't available to ride with Seth is normally my second choice. I recently discovered that riding with Seth scares me half to death because his car is kinda odd in my oppinion, it's too smooth. I can hardly feel it accelerating or breaking, or turning, and honestly, I like to know whats happening when I'm in a car. The fact that I don't know in Seth's car just scares me a little bit. That and I know he hasn't wrecked, but the thought of riding with an inexperienced driver scares me too. So sorry Seth, I think I'll stick with Josh and Shelby. :) When Josh wasn't there that one Sunday, however, I had no idea who I was going to ride with. I'm just glad I chose to ride with Toby.

Volleyball
The weekend that the Libbeys were gone, was possibly the most boring weekend I've had since I've been here. No volleyball, no tolleyball, nothing. It was totally boring. I'm pretty sure that if a Libbey had been in town that we would have done something, especially since the weather was so nice. But since they weren't we didn't... Oh well. Good to have them back. I love them all bunches! :)

Eat it, eat it now. 0_0

2010-08-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

It's not like I stopped eating when I started coming to this church, I've always been this way. I eat when I'm hungry until I'm satisfied, that doesn't always mean until I'm so full I feel like I'm going to explode, just until I'm no longer hungry. A lot of the time, I can go without eating and just not be hungry anyways. I once skipped four meals within two days, not because I think I'm fat and so I starve myself, just because I wasn't hungry. A bunch of people that I know think that I don't like eating in front of people, or that I think I'm fat, or that I'm anorexic, none of which is true.

I have tried to explain it more than once but normally to no avail. I'm just one of those people that, if I don't eat when I'm hungry, I just can't eat. It sounds strange, and I don't really know how to say it any better than I just did. Either I'm not hungry, or I'm hungry. If I don't eat when I'm hungry than my hunger leaves and I develop a headache. If I eat when I'm not hungry, I get queasy. But if I eat when I'm hungry, just enough to where I'm not, than I'm good to go for the rest of the day.

Recently I don't know who reads my blog because a bunch of people randomly come up to me and say "Oh, by the way, I read your blog." So if you're reading this, please believe me when I say "I'm not hungry" because if you guilt me into eating something anyways it really won't be good for me. :/

The way things were and the way things are.

2010-08-26T10:24:00.001-07:00

I was looking back over some of my old blogs not long ago. I was amazed at how long some of them were. 'I must have had alot of time on my hands...' was my first thought. But then I realized that wasn't true. You see, even after school has started back I have more trouble trying to find something to occupy my free time than I do trying to find some time to do stuff. I guess the reason why they were so long was because there was alot going on and therefore alot to write about. Either I was frustrated because of something that had recently happened, or if I had had a busy day or if I had done something fun with my friends. But now there's nothing for me to write about :/ it's not like I don't have fun with my friends anymore. I just never think to write it out. So this will be a happy blog :)

My life is going great. I moved to Athens about six months ago(I think) and I have been having a blast since then. I can hardly think of a weekend when I haven't gotten to see my friends ^_^ which makes me happy, lol. I made a good friend this year, his name is David, I knew him before just not as well, and now that I do he has to be one of my best friends. He's fun to be around and I can talk to him about serious stuff to, and he actually understand :) So thats a good thing :P and some of my other friends I feel I have gotten to know a little better since I moved to Athens.

The one downside, I don't have my horses anymore. I mean, I own them, but they are still at the other house. I like my horses, I used to have so much fun just grooming Black let alone taking a nice ride to get my mind off of everything around me. It was a great way to relax and clear my thoughts and I don't have that anymore. But recently, the people that are allowing us to live in this house are going to let us put up a fence on their property and keep the horses there so that I will be able to take care of them like I used to. My days are probably gonna get alot shorter with them here but I can't wait! I keep rushing Dad to put up the fence or get the stuff so that I can. If I have to fence up the whole five acres myself I will to get them here. I'm so excited. I just hope it isn't all for nothing. We still haven't sold the house in Cleveland and after being this close I don't want to move back. :/

An upside to moving back, however, is that I will not lose the beloved creek, all the times I've spent there with my friends, all the long hours after a hard day reading my book on a log hanging over the water, the light glistening just so off of the water during the late twilight and the breeze blowing my hair out of my face as easily as my fingers pulling each strand behind my ear. It was always so peaceful. I was very content there, but since I'm happy here, this is where I want to stay. Those good times will never be forgotten, but I am definitely open to making new memories here. :)

To aspire to do great things.

2010-08-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

My inspiration doesn't come from this world. All I know is what I feel in my heart, what God put there for me to desire. I don't try to make my head big by thinking I'm better than other people just because I want to do something good with my life. I don't even know what it is that I want to do. I'm sure with God's help that I will one day discover what it is that I am to do. I want to have a good life and I would love it if it was as simple as me getting married, having kids, dieing old and simply sharing God with people I meet along the way, and it may very well be something like that but I do know I want to somehow use my knowledge for the better. For God. I want to be open for him to use me in the ways he feels necessary. "Mankind is divided into three classes;" said Benjamin Franklin, "those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move." I don't want to be any of these however, I want to be the one that inspires others to move in the right direction. :)

"Wanna get wet?" - I'll pass thanks.

2010-08-10T15:02:00.000-07:00

Sunday immediately after church they had a baptism for some of our church family. It wasn't strictly those people, some people decided last minute that they wanted baptised to. "Are you gonna get baptised?" asked my friend David.- I have never been baptised. I don't think I'm "unholy" because I've never been baptised, and I'm not saying I'm not a christian either. "No, not today anyways." I replied. I recalled this question later on to Josh as we(Seth, Tim, Josh and I) drove down the road. "I've never really been baptised." I confessed to them. "You haven't?" asked Josh. "No." "Why not?" "Because, I want to make sure that I want to do it. Not saying I don't want to do it. I just don't want to do it just to get it out of the way. I want to do it to get closer to God. Right now I feel like I would feel pressed to do it just to get it out of the way. But thats not what I want." I stated simply. If that wasn't clear enough to you. I don't want to get baptised because I won't go to heaven if I don't(I'm pretty sure the theif on the cross was never baptised and God is no respecter of persons so why would he make an acception for one and not another?) and I don't want to do it because Mom thinks I should or because everyone else thinks that I need to be baptised. I want to do it because I want to do it for God. And it's not like I don't want to do it for him right now either, but right now I think that the only reason I would be doing it is because someone else wants me to. Maybe in the future I will do it for God, and for me. But not for anyone else.

Not thinking is never a good thing and yet some times thinking is just as bad.

2010-08-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a grumpy mood today. I'm actually still in that grumpy mood, I don't know how I got in it. I just woke up and was snappier than usual. I made my cereal and right after putting the milk up I heard mom say, "Oh, can you make me a cup of coffee?" normally I would have happily replied, "Yes, I'll make your coffee." But instead that's not exactly what came out... "I wish you would have asked before I poured milk in my cereal." I said without thinking. "I didn't know you were going to whine about it. Never mind though, I'll poor my own coffee." I could have left it at that and not received the look like she wanted me dead but instead I decided to smart off again "Well, you don't like wasted cereal, and I don't like soggy cereal." I said again without thinking. Whenever I did think it was something like 'What on earth is wrong with me today?!' I'm lucky I didn't get back handed through a wall.

Somehow the words form in my mouth before they form in my mind. I ended up making her coffee, feeling sorry about my earlier display. I tried to go out of my way to be nicer since I felt very stupid for being such a jerk. This at least worked. But than I got irritated inwardly instead of outwardly and than would end up snapping because of something someone would request of me later on. I'm therefore having a very crappy day so far.

I also realize that I seem to normally only post things when I'm upset, if you wonder why I have found the explanation. I can easily express happiness, without worry of anyone but when it comes to anger, frustration, and sadness I can't quite express my feelings in fear of upsetting anyone else or offending someone or maybe putting someone in a dim mood. So I tend to try not to. This is why whenever I try to think on something, I only ever have sad feelings come back to me because that is all that is left.

Assumptions

2010-08-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

One Sunday morning me and my friend were sitting on a bench talking when one of my other friends came over to us with a camera. "Can I get a picture of you two?" She asked. "Um... I guess." I started to answer when my other friend cut in with a blunt "No." I was a little confused. "Why not?" I asked him. "Yeah, why not?" my friend repeated. "Because, somehow that picture will end up on facebook and people assume too much." he stated simply. He had a very good point and so with that no picture was taken. However, I had taken a picture of us together quite some time ago and put it on facebook. People started commenting on it with stuff like "Aw, thats so sweet!" or "I knew they would end up together." Needless to say I got rather ticked. 'People do assume too much' I thought as that was the first thing that came to my mind and my thoughts went back to this conversation.

Just to clear things up, we do not like each other. I treat him no differently than I treat any of my other guy friends. I don't see why people half to make up a bunch of crap over something that is so non existent. He doesn't like me. We are friends, and that is that. So I wish people would leave me alone and let me live my life without their constant pushing and their scrutiny as if it's really any of their business to begin with. So that being said, please leave me alone.

Too mean?

2010-08-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday night...

Standing around with some friends someone commented on my nails and how evil they looked because they are so long. "They look like witch nails." He said simply. "They do not!" I said in defense "They're music notes, what's evil and witch like about that?" "I bet they're music notes to an evil secular song to." He said ignoring my protests. "Well, your just... mean. That's what you are, mean." I repeated affirmatively. "I'm mean?!" He gasped, "This coming from you?" "I can hardly believe she said it either" another friend cut in. "Surely you of all people, who is so mean to everyone, can't possibly think that I am mean." He argued. This was a little upsetting, I'm not that mean of a person or so I thought. Everyone knows I'm just joking, right? They went on all night about how evil I was. By the end of the night I was more than a little annoyed. I jokingly call people a jerk, or a meany, and stuff of the sort, but only when I know they are joking. I told a story of one of these "jokes"at one time(just the other night in fact). "How do you even have friends?!" She exclaimed in wonder. "He knew I was just joking, I even told him so." I reasoned. "Are you sure?" "Yeah" *I think... :/* Maybe they aren't my friends, maybe its more the answer of tolerating me and putting up with me all day rather than hanging out... I don't know but that's not how I want it. I just don't want to pretend to be something I'm not either. Whats the point in having everyone love you if its not you they're loving... I'd rather have everyone hate my guts, than love me for being someone I'm not.

Rolling on a river.

2010-07-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

Went kayaking for the first time today with Amanda, Brian, Michele, and Dad. It was great, but now I'm slightly burnt(The fact that I'm already pretty tan makes me slightly burn resistant. :) and my arms feel like noodles(It was a major work out), I got really wet, and at one point me and Brian went down some rapids without the kayaks. It was a great deal of fun and very tiring. Needless to say I would love to do it again some time. The only thing wrong is that it's expensive :(. It cost thirty dollars to rent a single(which are alot of fun ^_^) or forty-four dollars to rent a double(not as much fun but at least you can split the costs of the money with someone else AND have someone to talk to the entire time.) another problem with the doubles are that you would have to have someone strong in back because there is too much work for someone as tiny as me. That is why I have decided that next time I go I want to go with our entire youth group and simply share a kayak with someone else. =D I think it would be fun anyways..

Trying but not hard enough???

2010-07-08T05:34:00.001-07:00

He's sixteen can play the drums and guitar, he's a great athlete, he has a job, he has already graduated high school, and his only problem when it comes to buying a car is that he has yet to find one. He makes it(life) seem so easy too! I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. I fell behind in school, I'm turning sixteen this year, I can never remember what grade I'm in, I don't have alot of money, I'm probably no where near graduating, I'm not that good at sports despite how active I am, I taught myself to play piano but it doesn't matter because I suck, the only thing I can do is sing and not very well because it only takes one note that's too high for my throat to cut off and everyone to think I sing awful. I wake up at 4:30 every morning and go to prayer service and come home at six, sometimes I nap and other times I go straight to work. I work around 10 hours everyday sitting in a car that doesn't have air conditioning or in the hot sun. I'm so tired that I keep forgetting where I'm going with this. Oh yeah, I really don't know WHAT I'm doing wrong, wanna help me out?

Losing them again...

2010-06-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

I have always had my issues with getting close to people. My number one reason, losing them. I hate losing people I'm close to. She might not be gone forever, maybe not long at all. But what if she comes back different? It wasn't her choice to leave but what if she doesn't want to come back? We have had plenty of good times, and lots of laughs. I just hope your happy, I miss you!

Sharri

Update to my life.

2010-06-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

Of life..

I'm moving! I thought it would be hectic, all the days driving back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and... I think you get the picture, moving stuff all the time between these two houses. I thank God that it has been a so far peaceful transaction. I think I like living in Riceville. I'm closer to my friends, and it seems for once in my life I'm happy, as in, no gloomy thoughts in the back of my mind weighing me down. My life is a good life. I've got friends, family, and a God that loves me no matter what! What else could I ask for?

!JFEST 2010!

Well, I guess the best way to sum it up is to say it ROCKED! Mr. Anderson claims he wasn't embarrassed when I head banged but he did give me a really weird look, I guess he always looks that way ;) Matthew West did a great job, band-less or not, he was awesome. He made up a song about snow cones(which by the way, was MUCH funnier than the so-called-comedian. I felt very sorry for that guy.). I know I embarrassed his little sister, I recall her words as, "People are starting to stare" I guess when me and my sister go to a concert it's bad enough, when we are together at one, it's plain awful. Needless to say, we should do it again.

My Week...?

.Perfect.

Totally Single

2010-04-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

(Would like everyone to know that I'm not using actual names from here out. ^_^)

Sunday night just about everyone had left. J had just went to his car when Bro. C pulled up once more. He got out of the car and went to pick something up off of a bench. I almost laughed at the site of him carrying a purse. "She leaves this thing everywhere and the moment she realizes it's gone I have to drop everything I'm doing and go get it!" He mumbled to himself then stopped as he saw me. "What are you doing out here by yourself?" He asked as he walked over to me. "Watching my little brother and waiting for M and SR to get back from the oasis Building" I replied. As J started to drive off I thought out loud "I wonder if I left anything in his car? I leave more stuff in his car then I do anyone else's." I stated quite simply. I had almost forgotten Bro. C was standing next to me when he said "Oh, are you two dating?" "What?! Me and J? No...." I replied. "...no." I said once more confirmingly.

*****************************

Tuesday night near the end of the altar service I went and sat with my friend who I hadn't seen in a while. A little girl came up to me and whispered in my ear "Are you and that guy dating?" She asked. I turned to look at him then looked back at the girl. "No." I said flatly starting to despise such questions. "Ok." She said and turned around to the other girl standing next to her, "I told you." She said quite matter of factly. "Well, I just thought..." Whatever else she said was lost.

Later on that night...

I was sitting on a bench next to him(again) when another of my friends came out and sat on the bench opposite us. We continued to talk for awhile and then finally there was silence. "So..." said the one sitting across from us, "are you two dating now?" He asked innocently. My friend instantly moved farther away from me and shouted "I HATE YOU!" at the exact moment I started to say, "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!"

************************

There have been many people hooking up at our church as of recent, it would so seem that due to the fact everyone else is hooking up everytime I hang out with one of my guy friends I must be dating that person, I mean, why else would I be hanging out with him? Well, I'm tired of it. No, I'm not dating anyone and no, I don't plan to. People keep asking if I have a date for the Spring Formal and my answer is always, "Am I suppose to?" I don't think it's impossible for me to be just friends with a guy and I will prove it. I have stayed single this long and just because everyone else has a boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean that I have to! So yeah I am Totally Single and happy that way. ^_^

Clumsiness.... 0_o

2010-02-20T10:32:00.000-08:00

So my day yesterday was bad, like REALLY bad... I guess what made it bad was that I'm so clumsy. I managed to break a door yesterday... "What?" yep... I don't hardly know how I did it, I suppose I was a little mad at Stephen when I closed it but still, a door?! Pretty bad. I also broke a vase, almost set our couch on fire and almost threw an oven mit into the oven. Yes, I was very clumsy yesterday, I also punched something so hard that my knuckles are internally bruised. So, yeah, I need to work on this alot. Like, alot of alot. Pray for me...

The picture- To take or not to take?

2010-01-30T17:25:00.001-08:00

It wasn't five minutes ago and yet I have already forgotten how this insignificant conversation occurred. Have you ever seen pictures where the guy/girl who took it obviously took the picture him/herself? Well, my dad has, and sadly it would seem the only ones he has seen is taken by me or my sis. I wouldn't deny that I do take pictures of myself, it's not because I'm vain or think I'm pretty and worth the picture and or time to take the picture, it's just because I get bored and sometimes I just feel like taking a picture of myself. Now-a-days, it isn't hard to find someone who takes a picture of him/herself in fact it's quite common so that they have pictures for, Myspace, Facebook, Blogger, ect. ect. and it's not just girls.
Mom and dad were sitting in the living-room next to the kitchen(where I just so happened to be) when I heard dad say "...taking pictures of themselves all day long. I guess it's a girl thing."
That's when I walked in. "What? It's not a girl thing, there are plenty of guys that take pictures of themselves as well." I pointed out.
"Yes, but they don't take thirty pictures a day of themselves either." Dad retorted.
"Neither do I." I said defensively. Dad returned my words with a blank stare.
"I don't," I said once more finding the need to defend myself further, "as a matter of fact, I haven't taken not one picture of myself all day long."
"Whatever." was the only reply I received.

So, something tells me my dad remains unconvinced, but it's not a girl thing, and it's not a guy thing, it is simply a thing and that is that.

A more colorful life...

2010-01-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

The last blog I wrote was at the beginning of the year. It's not been an overly long time and yet quite a bit has changed since, some change for the better and some change for the worse, but mostly better. As such is, I have decided to write this one blog with a full update of my life since(it's gonna be a long one) I am writing it for me more so then the few readers but here goes...

A more colorful life..

.P.E.A.C.E.

In my life, short lived as it is, peace isn't something that hasn't been something that's easy to come by. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed my life thoroughly for the most part, however we all have storms that we go through, I don't pretend I am the only one and that mine are far worse then those of the people around me. Despite the fact, it hurts. Still this past month God has given me such an astounding peace I don't want anything to change, but I know that isn't the way I should be thinking. I want to grow in God, to do so I know more storms will come and in spite of the peace I have now I welcome the challenge and hope to prevail. But still I thank God for the peace he has given me this month and I while it lasts I shall continue to enjoy the ease of my mind and I hope that I don't get to comfortable. But the fight has ended this past year and for now the taste of victory is sweet ^_^.

I still have my reasons to be angry and upset, but they are few and nothing that breathing won't help.

.N.O. .N.E.E.D. .T.O. .S.A.Y. .G.O.O.D.B.Y.E.

Otherwise known as the "The Call" by Regina Spektor.

I hadn't known him for long, a little over a year, but I still count him among my friends. We're not very and he wasn't the kind of person I could carry on a conversation with forever but I can't say I won't miss him.

He hadn't been at church Sunday morning or Sunday night, it was unusual but someone told me he had decided to go to another church. It had been awhile since I had talked to him when he came Tuesday and I had decided I would hang out with him because of it. I ended up catching him as he was leaving because I had not been able to hang out with him much Tuesday night either because he had seemingly disappeared(I'm not nosy enough to ask him where he was. I was only joking when I gave him a hug and said "I wanted to say bye cause I don't know when I'll see you again." I only meant that he had not been in church on Sunday but as it turns out he is actually switching his home church to one in Cleveland where he now lives.

I didn't find out till last night and, despite the fact that I didn't know him long and was never overly attached to him to begin with, it made me sad to think I wouldn't be able to see him much anymore. He wrote a blog explaining that he was changing his home church and why he had done so but that he would still be around simply not as much. At first I was only sad that he wasn't going to be around but then the song "The Call" by Regina Spektor came on. The chorus says "I'll come back when it's over(or when you call me, it changes through the song) there's no need to say goodbye." I simply thought, 'Hey, he's still gonna be around, there's no need to mope.' I decided not to act like he wasn't going to be around anymore, I'll just have to hang out with him more often when he is.

So to my friend- I'll miss you and I'll see you around.

.L.I.F.E. .W.I.T.H.O.U.T. .Y.O.U.

Somehow he's I never thought we would end up as friends when I met him, but we did. I remember the day we met clear as crystal, better then I remember meeting anyone else, and I don't really know why. It wasn't touching, I never thought much of him except as another person, and yet I remember. It took me over six months to actually talk to him and actually talk to him. It was after that, that we started hanging out and then became friends. Sometime later, I can't quite remember how much later, but he became one of my best friends, I opened up to him more then I did anyone else, I don't know why except that he was willing to listen. I really enjoyed his company but recently we've somehow grown distant. I really wish we hadn't.... We still talk, but not nearly as much as we used to, and not with as much cheer. Most of the time it is a simple "Hello, how are you?" "Good, you?" "I'm doing okay..." and that's the end of it. I miss him in this sense and I hope whatever happened to make us grow distant is mended soon. I don't have anyone to talk to with him....

.S.N.O.W. .D.A.Y.

I woke up this morning feeling reluctant to start my day. For some reason I didn't want to face whatever life held for me. Not long after I woke up it started snowing, only softly but it was snow nonetheless. Snow has always made me happy, despite how cold it is, it is soft, and pretty, it makes everything clean and white, and it's all in all beautiful. It makes me happy and smiley and puts a warm feeling in me. Even with that little bit of snow my day was turning out better. Imagine how happy I was when snow started pouring like rain at our house. Not thirty minutes later, the snow had already given a transparent layer of white to the ground, and exactly after thirty minutes it began to stick like glue. I'm happy to cut things short, very happy. I decided to take my horse out for a ride in the snow, for some reason it always makes me smile to ride my horse and as happy as snow makes me, I can imagine I was almost too hyper to sit on black(my horse). As I rode to the end of the drive way a large truck pulled in, out of it our neighbor, and my brother-in-law's brother, got out of the car. I hadn't even realized I wasn't wearing proper clothes for the weather when he asked if I was crazy, my response- "Just a little..."

I will have to say that is the end of my blog because my dad wants on the computer and I am off to play in the snow ^_^.

And then comes facebook...

2010-01-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

It started out innocent, reading blogs, making an occasional comment, you know small stuff like that. He talked to certain people about certain blogs they had wrote and really enjoyed learning more about his daughters friends. Soon however it had became an addiction. The first thing my dad has always done when he gets on the laptop is check the weather and then his e-mail, it was one of those days that I realised, he was being sucked into the world of blogger...

It was cold when I woke up still misty in the early hour of the morning. I stepped into my slippers, a usuall way of starting my day, and walked into the kitchen. I already smelt the sweet scent of coffee, that stated dad was up. I heard a faint clicking as I walked toward the dining room. Darn, he's already on the laptop... was my thoughts at the noise. As I stepped into the dining room and turned he was crouched over the laptop click I heard more loudly now and then the a soft rubbing noise as his finger scrolled across the built in pad meant to be a mouse. I went behind him and saw the background of Esther's Blog. "What is the weather going to be like this week?" I asked my dad and waited impatiently for his long pause to end "huh?" He finally said once more, "the weather?" I said once more. "Oh yeah, I haven't checked yet." My face must have been ridiculous with the look of astonishment, "you haven't?" I asked once more. "No I haven't." "Ok.... Any new blogs?" I asked eyebrow raised. "Yeah, Jessie wrote one, now I'm reading Esther's." Then I knew it was an addiction but soon after it became an obsession, he created himself a blog, and then came facebook....

The real me~ What I want to be

2010-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

Recently I've had to ask myself everytime one of my friends say "I love you!", or "You're the best!" What is the worth of having a friend if they only love you for who you aren't? Sad? Maybe... Used to I was comfortable with who I was, I was the blunt/cut to the chase, sarcastic, and sometimes maybe a little harsh kind of person. You must think- "No wonder she's changed, she must have been awful!" But I guess I wasn't really to bad, to go with my blunt sarcastic harshness, I had a good sense of humor, I was good at making people laugh, and most of the things I said were not meant to be hurtful(I joked around alot.) and if I was so bad I probably wouldn't have had as many friends as I did. However, when I first came to this church I was different. I hadn't changed I simply wasn't myself for the time being. When I became friends with some of the youth they liked me when I wasn't me so I thought then why change? But it hurts so much when everytime you're with your friends your life becomes a lie. I didn't want to be myself because they didn't like me they liked the sharron they knew. But I don't. I like me.

People at this church take me far more seriously then they should. I can be serious but there is a huge difference from when I'm being serious and from when I'm joking around, for instince- "Who is that walking around the church?"-Micah "Sarah Pallin..."- Me "Really?!"- Micah "No." -Me. So yeah stupid things like that, of course I'm not serious! But they don't seem to get my sarcasm. I am known as the spunk,y sweet, always hyper, always happy girl that everyone knows and loves- yeah right. I didn't used to be. Used to I was the, snappy, sweet, sarcastic, blunt, sometimes feared girl that everyone knew and loved. What changed? I didn't want change, not yet. I liked who I was then. My closeness to God didn't change but his importance did when I began to care about what people thought. God, I don't care what they think, I know you love me for who I am because that is who you made me. So just an apology in advance if I say something hurtfull that wasn't meant to be hurtful, but I'm going back to being me, you may start to know me as a stranger, cause you don't know me, no one knows me but God(and that's all that matters), but I want you all too know that my love for you guys hasn't changed one bit, only the way I express it. If I act strange the next time we meet, it's because I decided to be the real me.

Five again...

2009-12-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

Today I was at work doing a leaf job, we had went by a Bi-Lo earlier in the morning before heading to work. This girl I work with has.... problems(to put it lightly). Anyways, after we left Bi-Lo we went straight to work. It wasn't fifteen minutes of us being there that she went up to Dad and said "Hey, um... I gotta use the bathroom."

Dad stared blankly at her for a total of three seconds before he realized that she wasn't joking. "You what?" He said in monotone. He knew what she had said but obviously he had hoped he had misheard her. She simply looked at him innocently. "Why didn't you go to the bathroom at Bi-Lo's?!" He exploded.

"I didn't have to go then!!!" She said in a whiney five-year-old voice.

"Gosh your a pain!" He said obviously not enjoying the idea that he would have to take her somewhere that she could use the bathroom. "This might be your last time working with me." He quite matter of factly(it had not been the first time she had done this to him.).

----

I don't care if it did anger Dad, I thought it was all hilarious.

^_^

Still invisible.....

2009-12-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

It amazes me how he can hear someone from half-way across the room, but he can't hear me when I'm standing right next to him...

To wear or not to wear...?

2009-11-28T15:02:00.000-08:00

This subject has been eating at me recently.

My dear friend whom I love so much posted a blog recently about pants and skirts. Alot of people replied with their own opinions on the subject. Someone said something along the lines of, "This just means that the closer you get to God the more convictions you have...", don't get me wrong, I'm not disagreeing. I don't say this just because I wear pants but, just because you wear a skirt doesn't mean that you are closer to God then the people who wear pants. I'm not against skirts, I mean, I wear them too, but just because I wear pants also doesn't make me a lesser being then women that choose to wear skirts constantly. If pants is your conviction then so be it, it's not mine and that's that. Hope no one hates me for it but I am perfectly okay with myself wearing pants, I don't think it's wrong of me, I said all of this to say that everyone has their own convictions, wearing pants just isn't one of mine...

Much love,
Sharri

six things I hate....

2009-11-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

This is just some of my most recent pet peeves I suppose. Well.... not recent, but I only recently started thinking about what actually does get on my nerves.

A sarcastic comment mistook for "grumpiness"- The other night I was at someone's house and when someone walked through the door he shouted "HELLO SHARRI!" I replied "Hello loudness..." Then he called me grumpy... that was not me being grumpy, I was simply being sarcastic(nothing strange there, seriously Josh.)

Snobs-I was sitting next to Josh in church one Sunday morning and some stranger was on the other side of me, apparently she used to go to the church and most of the people knew her from Chimes, anyways, Pastor Wynn said(as usuall), "Shake someone's hand and thank them for being here today." I, of course, shook Josh's hand and then went to shake the stranger's hand. She flat out ignored me, yep, didn't even glance my way! Maybe it was wrong of me but it didn't matter at the time, I looked back at brother Wynn as he began to sing and muttered "snob" just loud enough towhere she could hear.

Whiney Soldiers- Yesterday I was sitting in the car headed home from work with Dad listening to, the most despised, NPR(National Public Radio) News. They were doing a live interveiw with a soldier, and he was whining on behalf of the army. His exact words were "You could ask any soldier here each one would take the first plane home." I'm sure that it's true but that's exactly what upsets me. We treat them like heroes, they are heroes I mean, they risk their lives to fight for their country every day, and that's just it! They are the one's who decided to join the army in the first place, and now they are going to whine that it's dangerous?! Well duh! Of course it's dangerous! What did they think was going to happen? Did they think that once they joined the army they would kick up there feet and drink coffee and eat biscottis?! Gosh.... I need to get off this subject.

Fly away by John Denver- Whiniest song in the world... I just hate it basically.

Zoning out when with friends- John always thinks I upset, angry or depressed, when he asks me what's wrong and I reply "nothing" he doesn't believe me?! Why does he not believe me?... Oh well.

Overly happy dogs- Better leave that one alone...

I'll stop at that, before I get all piped up about these subjects(all of the above.).

A Random Act of Kindness.(Christmas Shoes)

2009-10-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

Our family lives in Cleveland and goes to church in Athens. Our mother works up at the church two days of the week and we have church two days of the week so to drive up to the church four days of the week could be expensive, therefore, we spend the night every Sunday and Tuesday night after church and me and my sis Michele are bored all day the next day. Wednesday the pastors son decided to shoot the bow and arrows with us but it was cut short because his brother called and asked him to pick him up. Well, his son invited Michele and I to go with him and so we did. Michele didn't think that she would need her shoes so she left them at the church.

We went to the Athens Hospital where we were supposed to pick up Micah but it turns out that they were not there. They decided to drop Micah and Haven off at Walmart instead. So, John, Michele and I headed to walmart to pick them up there. When we got there John(of course) decided to go inside... Well, Michele had no shoes... I asked John if he had a pair of shoes for her to wear in his car so he popped the trunk and started digging for shoes, he was successful in finding three pairs of shoes, they all required socks, something Michele didn't have. So I gave her my shoes and was going to wear John's since I did have socks. As I was fighting to put on boots that went past my ankles I saw a pair of tennishoes drop on the floor in front of my face at my feet. My brow wrinkled, it hadn't been an accident, "Are you serious?!" I asked uncertain if they were for me. "Yes, I am serious, you may keep them." Said a kind voice from above and slightly behind me. "Your for real?" I asked just to double check. "Yes I am, keep them." She said once more. I hastened to put the shoes on.(I'm not one for getting my socks dirty, it upsets me.) By the time I had finished she had already left to her car. I turned to John who was equally shocked.

"That was mighty kind of her wasn't it?" Said John. "Yes it was... I wish she hadn't walked away so quickly I would have gave her a hug and thanked her propperly..." I said slightly dissapointed that she had left so quickly. "Well," said John "She's in the car over there if you still want to." My face instantly brightened. I turned to the car before running over to it and knocking on the door. When she opened the door she simply smiled. "Thank you so much for the shoes, they fit perfectly and everything!" I said as I gave her a hug. "It's no problem at all, your welcome." She said still smiling as Michele gave her a hug also(btw, she gave us both a pair of shoes kool right?). As she got in her car she didn't look back "Enjoy walmart" She called and then closed the door once more. John went on about how kind it was of her and I simply nodded my head in agreement.

For weeks now I have been talking about how badly I needed a new pair of tennishoes and now I have them. It was great.

When time slowly slips away and yet it seems a blur...

2009-10-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

I spent the night with the Libbeys last night and stayed up till one in the morning(against my will... glory...) and then woke up earlier then I had origionally intended(then again if I didn't wake up when I did I never would have woke up hehehe!). I talked with Esther and then Josh came into the room and started hitting me in the head with a pillow repeatedly saying that it was his job since I don't have any older brothers to pick on me when personally I have more "big brothers" then I want.(or at least they think they are my "big brothers" lol). Then I talked to Esther and Josh a bit then made eggs for me and michele. So that was just the morning. Then Seth and Leah woke up(finally) and we started playing boggle, we actually played this for awhile till like 1:30 and then we stopped in which time I sat on the couch and drew pictures then showed them to Seth who questioned every detail.(it's a picture my goodness just a picture) Well we ended up playing boggle again very shortly after our "quick" break. We played till 3:43 in which time I decided to look at my phone and thought 'oh my gosh! We're going to be late!' Ha yeah right.... When we got to the park no one was there. It seemed like it took forever for Esther, Leah, and Michele to get there and forever more for Hannah, Jessie, and Danika(one of the most awesome girls I know) to show up. We had originally planned to play volleyball while the guys played football but since none of the guys showed up we played soccer. While playing soccer Michele managed to kick my legs out from underneath me and made me fall flat on my butt and it still feels bruised :/...

By the time we finally got home I was sore all over. Normally I go on a bike ride daily but I was soooooo sore! I looked at the dog who was waiting expectantly by his gait waiting to be let out so he could go to the creek with me(btw, when I say bike ride I mean like tough trail rides haha!). I sighed to myself 'what the heck,' I thought 'why not? The poor boy has been confined to his pin all day long so I might as well suffer through a little so he can have some time out of his pin...' I think he knew how tired I was feeling cause come time to put him up he didn't wish to get back in his pin :(. I fought with him for an hour before getting him in there and after an hour long bike ride I'm surprised it didn't take longer. Needless to say I'm tired as all get out. I wonder if I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow... hm.. Guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out hehehe!

Layout

2009-10-01T15:30:00.001-07:00

Okay so I change my blogger like alot lol. The other was to cute and sweet for me(not to say I'm not a cute and sweet person ;) lol) this however is just right(I think) it's black and white and cute and not overly cheery.(which after rereading my blog I have come to realise it was in great contrast to the rest of my blog lol.) So tell me what you think.... please?

Tear drops on my pillow...

2009-09-24T10:04:00.001-07:00

They don't care, they don't want to listen to me whine all the time and why should they? I don't need my so called 'friends' anyways. I didn't need them before I had them why should I need them now? Because I'm hurting... and I don't know why. But what difference does it make do they know? Do they have the answer as to why I'm in pain when I myself don't? Of course not... So why bother with them? I don't need them anymore I'm done with them, I'm done talking to them when they don't want to listen, I'm done watching them pretend they care when we all know that they don't. I wonder why they even bother acting like they like me when I know they don't as well as they do.-

dull thinking much? Yeah I know. These thoughts have been running through my head day in and day out for what seems like forever. I had finally opened up to my friend and I felt like crap it only did good to bring me lower. Recently... I don't know it's been pretty much terrible. I have a friend who's been treating me, not exactly badly but not half as well as this friend used to. We have grown distant and I don't like the feeling that I'm losing this friend because this friend is a very good friend... Or was one. I'm not certain of anything anymore I feel like I'm losing it. Last night I had a dream that I was falling... That was it, falling into the darkness I never hit the bottom and I almost wish I had. It was agonising there was nothing around to catch me I was simply being swallowed by loads of darkness it was almost terrifying. Somehow I felt like through this dream was a pitiful reality that this is what is happening to me now. I am falling and no one is there to catch me. These thought's clouded my mind one day and then a sting of pain hit me and I immediately drew away from these thoughts. Of course there is someone out there who care's and I know he loves me! Why else would he have died on the cross to save me and then spend his time to keep me safe every moment of every day?

Needless to say I was ashamed of myself for thinking such things, how dare I forget the one that gave all he had to give to set me free? Here I was complaining to myself about how bad my life was, how no one cared... Stupid. If anyone had any complaining it was/is him. He died for everyone because he loved him and they wanted nothing but his death, so he died and gave all of mankind a chance to be with him in heaven and we took it for granted. That is reason to think no one loves you or cares for you. How stupid it is that day after day we think about how misserable we are(which I have found only does to make you worse.) when he was the one that had all there was to give and gave every bit he had for us a very ungrateful and unworthy people. That is love. He love's me and I love him and I'm proud of it. He shouldn't have done what he did on the cross but he did it anyways. He knew we were undeserving and he knew that we didn't deserve a chance at everlasting life but it didn't stop him. His love for us was so great that he knew the future and how bad we would get(we being humans in general.) and yet it didn't stop him. I am so glad that it didn't stop him... That might sound wrong but it wasn't supposed to, what I mean to say is, I am grateful for what he did on the cross even though I didn't deserve it I am glad that, even though he knew that alls we would ever do is persecute him he died for us. I'm sorry that his blood was shed, I'm sorry that he suffered pain, but I'm so grateful to him for doing so.

I don't want to complain an overly large amount, even saying that I know I will complain again in the future, but I just want to remember what he went through and that I have no reason(well... some reason but nothing compared to his reason lol.) to complain. I want to always remember that God loves me and that I should love him also.(and I do.)

-Sharri.

Wishlist

2009-09-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

My Wishlist

My birthday is coming up shortly(ish) so I decided to make a wishlist for anyone who might want any gift ideas.

-Happiness-

I know you can't go out and buy happiness gift wrap it and hand it over, but I'm certain you guys can help make me happier(somehow) I can't say it is the cheapest gift and on your account perhaps one of the most expensive. You may not need to use money but it takes time, and acknowledgement, sometimes the patience to listen to me ramble, or simply a hug every now and then.

-Love-

I didn't think this gift would be to hard since we are all christians here but, sometimes I need to know I'm loved. When I think about it I know I'm loved, but imagine how great it would be to know your loved without having to break it down to "I must be loved because of such and such" I would rather be able to think "I know I'm loved because they love me"

-Patience-

This is asking a great deal. I am one of those people that, without patience, are hard to be around or tollerate so to ask this of you is asking alot. This is another "expensive" gift lol. Patience would probably be beneficial to more then one person however. You see when you are patient towards me it gives me the chance to get to know you as well as you me and through that I might acquire a better relationship with you as my friend so tada!

To know I'm special(or feel it)

I guess the only way I can "know" I'm special is to believe it with all my heart even if someone told me I was special I wouldn't be able to feel it unless I believe'd it, but you can help me believe it if you make me feel it enough. I'm not saying, "Follow me around and tell me how great I am" or(to a guy) "Act like your in love with me cause if you do I will feel special through the thought that someone is in love with me" I'm just saying that well. Through friendship you could make me feel special just by being there for me or caring for me or even just hanging out with me and being well, a friend.

A notebook

I can't say that there is some deep meaning to this I just want a notebook lol. Not one that's like a regular writing pad but a notebook smallish and cute hehehe!

A few good pens
I'm almost certain that Jessie can relate to this since she writes alot, but you know those pens with crappy ink or the ones that seem to dry up to quickly? I would like a few pens that aren't like that, I don't like gel pens but something where the ink will come out and not be overly blotchy I just hate that it really hinders(?) my writing.

To be included

Sad as the case is I don't always feel included even around my friends. I just want someone to at least try to include me or, though I would prefer them to not fake it, pretend to care. Sometimes this is just how I feel, upseting though it may be. If you have read my earlier blog then you should know that I feel like the outcast at times(and for good reason might I add?) and the feeling hurts believe it or not, I don't like this feeling at all, I hate it actually and I want more then anything to get away from it. I would like help on this matter I would like to feel included, this probably won't happen but it's still something I "wish" for.

A trust worthy friend.

Trust... It doesn't come easy for me because the moment I trust someone I become closer to them and it pains me that much more when they are torn away from me by fate, however, a friend you can trust is always something that's good to have. I want a friend that I can talk to anything about and them not automatically tell me how stupid I am for my thoughts(I have enough people tell me that, including myself) before trying to see it through my point of veiw it hurts to be prosecuted before a just trial(this makes sense right?).

Last and most important "Candy!"

So I would definitely say this is the most important thing on my wishlist I love candy so much, I'm considered a "sugarholic" by some people but what can I do? Please don't everyone get me candy cause I'll get overly happy and scarf it down till I'm sick so yeah that's not good :P!

Random much?...

2009-09-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

This is a very random blog some things I will say on this were meant for certain people and some things are just things I felt the need(or wish) to share or simply things I've realized recently.

Thoughts:

Friendship...

Sunday night the youth went to McDonald's after night service. I ended up riding with John-mark, Haven, and Michele. Me and John started our own conversation(since we were in the front seats and had no clue what Haven and Michele were talking about) John looked over to me(we were talking about our friend) and said "You know she isn't going to be able to come around as much as she normally does so we need to be really nice to her okay?" I nodded my head and told him that I was always nice to her because she is my friend and I love her. "She's the first one who talked to me at this church and introduced herself to me with Rachel. She was also the first to get me a gift for my birthday... Actually, she was the only one to, including the members of my family. She is so sweet!" I told him. "I didn't know all of that." He told me.

Even as we talked about it I realized just how much our friendship meant to me, and not only the friendship but how much all of my friends mean to me. I was so used to the people at our old church, I had been around them for over ten years, and then all of a sudden they were gone and I had no one. We changed the church we went to and everything was completely alien to me(the fact that there was a certain person who liked to stay quite and stare at people didn't help). The fact that just one person had came up to me and said hello(awkward as it was) made me happy that these people weren't so strange and that I didn't have to be scared about making friends.

I had never before been in a youth group so large but because one person worked up the courage to say something to me I had confidence to say something back. The very next week someone else invited us to go on a camping trip with them. So yeah friends are pretty dang important to me. So despite whatever I have said(or might say) I want you all to know that I love you very much. There might be some other stuff on this same blog later on that might make you think otherwise but remember I love you and I'm just weird ;)

Outcast...

This might be one of those parts that I told you about that might make you have second thoughts as to whether I love you guys or not, remember despite what I say I love you all these are just thoughts that have come to me recently.

I have been called by many names since the day I was born. Sharry- just about everyone I know calls me this, Pocahontas- I'm called this very randomly and normally only when wearing braids(it's not my fault I am part native American it is my ancestors), Scary Sharry-normally only Michele when she is in a bad or playful mood but I was actually called this by Josh just Sunday so it is coming back to me now, Elizabeth- My mom and grandma like to call me by one of my middle names sometimes, but to me I am sometimes titled as 2nd favorite(in comparison to my sister) or the outcast. I'm not always thinking of myself as these things so don't get worried that I'm majorly hating myself :P In fact it has become quite common and nowadays it honestly doesn't bother me much. Still, when I remember all the times I have been left out or shunned I can't honestly say it doesn't hurt.

Recently(in fact it was this month) we had been informed that the entire youth group had went to a restaurant in Cleveland where we live. You have to understand that we live in Cleveland and every single one of our friends live in, where else, Athens, we have to drive forty-five minutes to an hour just to hang out with them and the rare times they come to Cleveland they don't even invite us. That's right they all get together come where we live and don't bother letting us know... XP! Sure I can understand, they've known each other for years so they want to hang out together cause they are all good friends, and me and my sis are, well... just friends. But that is because they hardly give us the chance to become "good friends" see where I'm coming from? That is why it gets on my nerves. It would be a different story if we were the outcast because they knew us and didn't like us(it would still be upsetting but a different story nonetheless), but they don't even know us, nor have they tried to get to know us and they shun us anyways. *sighs* Honestly I can't even get in on a conversation around them... But that to is another story and it will have to wait until later. Again, I love you all but I do wish you would include us more and get to know us before deciding to push us away, okay? I'm sure you can understand(I think?)...

Ignored...

This is that other story. You know how I can't get in on a conversation with them? Trust me it's not because I haven't tried. I have, I don't think I've ever tried so hard to get in on a conversation with them either and it's not because we don't have anything in common. There are only a handful of them that I have been able to talk to and that is only when it's a few people at a time. One time it was just me and one other person. I said hi, and he said hello and then we had a conversation and then while we were talking he turns around and walks off.... HOW STUPID! It was the most insulting thing on earth, I don't think I've ever looked at him the same way since. It got on my nerves and under my skin and still does and what's hilarious is that he calls himself my big brother... No... My big brother would listen to me when I spoke(believe it or not... probably not since no one does) I know because I have had a "big brother" at one time and he actually was one. Whatever, now I'm all caught up on the fact that he calls me his little sister... blah. Point is, how are we supposed to become friends if we don't talk? I can't think of one time in the past year that I have had a conversation that actually lasted with more then one person. In a whole year! I don't think anyone of my "friends" knows more about me then maybe, maybe, my favorite color!... Well... If I don't get off this subject I will have people hating me and thinking I hate them.. I don't want that...

Big Brother...

Okay so yeah, I bet a lot of you are wondering who this "big brother" I spoke of earlier is/was. So I will just start from the beginning.

I started working with my dad a two or three years ago. One summer he got an employee named David... That's right David I've talked about him more then once, if you were listening(yes that was a joke a little bit of humor). I became "attatched" so to speak. He was my best friend more actually he was my "big brother" I don't think I had hugged people outside of my family very often until after he came along. It was him who turned me into the annoying "hugger" that I am now. We talked all the time it's actually rather hillarious that we were such good friends he was afterall ten years older then me. I remember the first time we talked, he was the first to say something "Hi, I'm David" "Hi David, I'm working." Yeah how sweet... I wasn't to sweet back then but I couldn't help how sour I was towards him. I had recently "lost" quite a few of my friends(no they didn't die) but, I knew quite matter of factly that I would never see them again. I didn't want to go through that again but he was ever so persistant.

Finally he managed to get through to me as an aquaintance, we talked. No one had ever tried so hard to get me to call him my friend or to make me happy when I was sad. He told me all the time "You can pretend all you want but one day, you are going to call me friend." He was right, shell says "He was always so good at that "predicting" stuff", so he became my friend, apparently that wasn't enough for him and now he said "You are a little sister to me and one day I will be a big brother to you." This was also right. We became such good friends that when he killed my scorpion it didn't matter! Even though I had always wanted one, finally got one and then he killed it in same day(btw this was all accidental) it didn't matter to me. We were so close people actually thought we were related awesome right?! No wonder he was so important to me. It might seem selfish, but, I didn't want him to become friends with my sis... I know shame on me. I just knew that once they became friends I would become the 'outcast' yes it's back to that. This is where that "feeling" came from(have you noticed I use a lot of these "" yet? hahaha! It's so much fun!). Every friend I had in the past were great friends to me.. Until they met her. Sad really but I didn't seem so important afterwards.

Then, it happened. They met and became friends. Suddenly I had somehow appeared on the outside looking in on what friendship used to be mine. I had, once again, lost a friend but he had been more, I had lost my brother, and cruel as fate was, to my sister(omg it's starting to sound like a love triangle BLECH! Trust me it was not like that). I don't hate my sister I thought I would make that clear now lol. Anyways, I had always been(will be) second best to my sis no changing it, it just is, maybe because she was born first. When she was thing 1 I was thing 2 is this making sense? So yes it hurt that he started ignoring me, that I wasn't as important, that my own sister no longer spoke to me as much as she once did, that every single time they had a discussion I was left out. There was no longer room for me in this friendship I understand it now but I wish I had then, but that's not the point. He didn't have a home other then his car at the time, and so mom let him stay on our couch. Yay, he moved in... not. Now I was left out of every discussion in the house that I lived in. This was the time that animals and nature became such a great part of my life, I would take walks in our woods and clear my thoughts(there was nothing else to do). Well, I can't say it wasn't sometimes fun to have him in the house. We had some good times and some bad times then he moved into the yellow house on our property and one day. He left. That was it... Just gone. I haven't seen him since and that was the end of it. So that's what happened and now I sometimes wonder if I love him or hate him. So there.

Hugs...

This bit is going to be blunt... Really blunt actually, so blunt I can't believe it's coming from me. Now recently everyone is on the topic of hugging to the point it gets on my nerves(I said it was blunt right?). Now I don't want to get anyone upset and I know we all have different veiws, this has to be understood by you guys also or else it just doesn't work out well, but, I DON'T CARE! That's right, a hug is a hug, whether shared between friends, or husbands and wives, or even between boyfriend and girlfriend, it's still a hug. Personally, to me, a hug is a form of showing affection of friendship. It doesn't matter how the hug was(side, two armed, ect.) it's a a hug for goodness sakes get it through your head. In the bible even a kiss was shared between friends and not just friends guy friends(which nowadays is weird and awkward) and now people want me to think that a hug is wrong? Well like I said it's a matter of opinion so yeah. Whatever.

The fun part:

Now this is the fun part where I just share a bunch of randomness that has happened recently(this should be good).

Portuguese...

Weird title? Yeah pretty much so here goes the story...

Me and Michele were sitting outside playing phase ten, it was Michele's turn to deal she tends to keep count.

"Uno, Dos, Tres..." Shell continues to count to ten in spanish as she deals the cards.

I was feeling very bored and random and silly... Finally Michele ends.

"Stop pretending like you know Portuguese." - Me.

Michele just stopped and looked up at me. It wasn't long before we were just about rolling on the floor laughing till our lungs burned worse then our abs.

Goofy Goober...Yeah....

We went to the wynns one day and watched a movie with Micah, Haven and John...

When we entered Micah and Haven were playing video games and instantly turned it off.

"We already picked out the best movie ever!" Said Micah very happily. This was quite odd since last time it took like forever to pick out the first one. Haven nodded vigorously and I sat in silence eyeing them suspiciously.

"Okay..." I said very much unsure. 'this ought to be good...' I thought very sarcasticly.

They pressed play as Michele and I took our seats my nightmare came true... Spongebob.... Yeah, I'm not to fond of spongebob I think it's a waist of time(sorry to anyone who watches it). At about the time they started singing the "Goofy Goober Theme Song"(idk if I even spelled that right :/) Micah looked over at me with a big grin on his face, he knows that I'm not exactly... fond of spongebob(to put it delicately).

"Are you enjoying the Movie?" He asked that same smile plain on his face.

"No comment." I said plain and simple glaring at the television.

By the end of the movie Haven and Michele were singing Goofy Goober to the point of making me want to slap them.

To My Readers:

I'm not sure who all reads my blog so I will just say that I love you all, god bless, and remember, despite what I may have said earlier to offend you, it's all a matter of opinion, and I love you all very much.

Realisation.

2009-09-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Recently... quite recently... in fact yesterday, a friend was getting on my nerves. I know he wasn't trying to but he was in a major way. He kept picking on me and duh that's a guy for you and supposedly it's his way of "showing love"(w/e) but I didn't feel like getting that attention from him. I would have been perfectly fine if no one had spoke to me all day long because that was what mood I was in. Yeah, dull I know but it's me. Anyways, I just wanted him to go away and leave me to my thoughts but instead he kept picking on me. We have had a conversation about it before that I'm not always in the mood for him to give me that kind of attention but I guess he had forgotten. I didn't want him to pick on me if anything I wanted it was maybe a hug. But no... He insisted on getting on my last nerve untill all I wanted was to smack him but I didn't, and I didn't say anything cause I don't like saying things like "dude your getting on my last nerve back off before I bite you" especially when that person is your friend so yeah he wasn't trying to be a jerk just succeeding.

Thinking about all of this made me realise what my pastor had been preaching about, he had been saying that God doesn't always want us to get excited and shout running around like chickens with their head cut off, sometimes he just wants us to tell him how much we love him and how willing we are to do what he wants us to. We sit here asking him for everything and giving him nothing in return. It's true that nothing amounts to what he's done for us but I bet that us trying puts a smile on his face every time he sees us do it. We think it is unnessecary for us to tell him we love him and that if he asked us to travel one thousand miles away that we would do it without hesitation cause if he is God then surely he already knows that... right? Yes that may be so but I seem to think that he most certainly wants to hear it from you every now and then. I know I do.... I have many people I am close to and I know that they love me through there actions but every now and then I just want to hear them say it... It's just not the same having someone love you as having someone tell you they love you, I bet God feels the same. So just thought I would share ^_^

Clearing up some things.

2009-09-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

I was on facebook today taking a quiz(as I was bored out of my mind) and it was to see what kind of personality type I was.... Turns out I'm(supposedly) emo... Yeah okay, big shocker there heh heh heh. Ok I'm not saying that I wasn't surprised to see that it was emo, but, I do tend to sit off on my own alot and I can see why one might think I'm slightly emo or just intollerent of everything. I'm trying to clear some things up but I think I'm making it worse haha! That's me trying to make it better and getting myself in deeper.... Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that, I'm not an unhappy person. I love my life and wouldn't have lived it any different if I could(okay so maybe some things would be different but hey, that's everyone) I know sometimes I look sad when I sit off on my own(really wishing john-mark was reading this), but, sometimes I prefer it that way, sometimes I'm just thinking, and sometimes, it's rare but, sometimes I am sad. Other times I really don't care whether people think I'm sad and I DEFINITELY do not want to be hounded for it later...

Okay so what I'm wanting really badly to say is that please don't jump to the conclusion that I'm sad, or angry, (p.s. I don't get depressed for me depression is just a word for "I don't feel like telling you why I'm upset but I know it for myself) I just like to be alone sometimes. Most of the time I'm actually happy, and if I'm outside I'm more then likely admiring nature and trying to get away from the buisiness of life(which is always such a bother). It's not that I don't like hanging out with my friends, and it's not that I'm upset/angry with one or more of my friends I am simply alone, weird I know but it's who I am and you just have to deal with it.

What I want out of life.

2009-08-29T14:13:00.000-07:00

So Michele made a blog titled "Pressure" and it talked about college and how she feels the need to please everyone, I for one know where she is coming from. I don't know what I want out of life, and I don't plan to stress myself thinking over it(although I probably will anyways it's just how I am). I'm not sure when, if, or if I ever will go to college. The only thing I really have planned and this is only in hopes of doing it, is to travel. I don't plan to go to college, I don't plan on not going to college, and I hope that these things that I am not planning on doing don't upset Mom and or Dad, but, it's not my job to please them. There may be times(in fact these times are quite often) when I feel it's my job to please everyone and although I would very much like to I know it isn't going to happen so therefore I don't plan to fret over it. If it happens that is great, but if not, who cares, it's my life and I'm going to do the best I can to live it the way God and I want me to. You see, I have come to understand that if I try to please everybody then I know I won't be happy and sometimes my attempts to please someone may result in me straying from God and I would never want that so from now on I am through trying to please other people I only want to please God and myself, everyone else will have to get over it. I said all this to say that all I want out of life is to live it.

Michele strikes again!!!!

2009-08-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

So Michele and I decided to play bat mitt(sp?) today. I beat her the first two games and had a good lead on the third game, I guess she got tired of losing cause she decided to hit me in the eye with the birdie. I couldn't see much but a blur for the rest of that game and the next in which she triumphed however, I decided to quit after the fourth game as I didn't want her to gloat over a third win :P! So there you have it Michele struck ferociously once more, first the pinky, then the baseball bat, and now this! What's next? I don't know if I want to find out 0_0

What I want to do....

2009-08-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

Friday night at Bible study John-Mark asked me and/or my sister to lead them into song before the actuall Bible study. I didn't exactly jump at the chance or idea to sing, my throat had been hurting all morning, but as I began to sing I soon forgot my throat and only heard my voice. I don't know if anyone other then me or John-Mark felt it but I could have sworn I felt God's presence inside me as I was singing. The feeling that I was singing to God about how awesome and holy he is, the way he seemed so please that I was lifting him up was just an overwhelming experience. I suppose I never thought of it much but I have been thinking since then and I would love to feel like that any time I get the chance. I have always had the desire to do something for God and now I know what that something is.

To every hill that you walk up however, is the side that will take you back down. I have a pretty descent voice(I think) and with a voice like mine comes compliments... I, like anyone else, like receiving compliments however, I don't want to do this for the wrong reason. I don't want to sing to be seen in church. I want to pour my heart and desires into these songs and lay them at God's feet to do with as he will. This is truly what I want, to lead God's people into his presence through song.

Ew!

2009-08-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at the laptop playing yoville on my facebook when dad entered the room.

"Sharron." He said gaining my attention. I acknowledged him and so he continued "I have a job for you."

'Yay me' was my first and foremost thought "ok" was my reply. He walked into the bathroom obviously wanting me to follow. I sighed and stood up from where I was sitting at the table and went into the bathroom where I found him hiding behind my door, I guess he had been wanting to scare me(he isn't to good at that but then again when it comes to me not many people are). I gave him a very weird look "what are you doing?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He looked rather dissapointed and then went on to tell me what he wanted me to do.

"Dump the water from this" he pointed to a metal rectangular container that was on the ground next to the toilet. "Into the toilet. Rinse it off and then put it outside to dry." I raised an eyebrow when he looked at me once more.

"What is that water from?" I asked looking at the questionable liquid held within the container.

He shrugged his shoulders and said "I don't know I think it's from the other day when the toilet flooded." My eye's widened and I suddenly started to feel sick 'was this punishment for foiling his attempt to scare me when I entered the bathroom? Why couldn't Michele do it? Why me....?' He must have seen that I didn't like the idea as he started laughing and patted my shoulder. "Don't forget to wash your hands afterwards!" He said pasted his laughter. He was still laughing when he left. Needless to say, I now feel very, very, very, icky.... :(

Troubles of life.

2009-08-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

There are many different ways that life can be explained... It can be a gift for some, a curse for some, but whatever life is it is life and nothing can change that. Some people dread waking up in the morning, some people wake with a smile, and many don't even think about it it just is. I'm one of those people that see each day as a chance, a chance to do something more a chance to be something more. Each day I wake up with a smile on my face knowing I have been blessed with the opportunity to do something, whether that is hanging out with my friends, going to church, working, to spread Gods word, or simply the chance to take life as it comes my way and do my best even though I will more then likely fail. There was something a character on a movie(I forget which) said, "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift" I for one very much agree with this. No matter what has me down in the dumps(normally me thinking to much and for to long about something) I always find a way to get past it. It has to be really bad to keep me down(like my sister being mad at me for no reason for example -_-), but no matter what I will always find a way to look beyond it.

Life always has a way to push me down but so long as my friends and God are here to pick me up I will be okay. A lady from our church told me that "When we fall we fall into loving arms and God will hold you untill you are ready to get back up." Those words will stick with me from now on and remind me that God is holding me and will never forget me no matter what troubles life may throw at me. Thank you God for letting there be someone around to remind me you are with me now and forever...